Let me just answer this one directly. No, I don't have boys on the brain. Shouldn't that be normal? Aren't boys the ones thinking about girls all the time? Well, maybe not exactly thinking about girls, but I won't go there.
Ok, so I'm now an adult, yet still considered a teen since I'm eighteen. Key part there, teen. The teen years are full of hormones and crazy people. As I've said before, I've given up the whole dating thing in high school. It's just not worth it. I guess instead of dating, I read about dating. I can't help it. Same reason I read youth pastor blogs. I can't help it. I like to help my friends out when they need advice and I like to see my youth group play fun, different, new games.
I think I'm probably going to talk about this because of one thing my baby brother is doing right now. He is DATING. I kinda had an awkward moment today in the hallway when I passed him and his girlfriend hugging in the middle of the stairwell hallway area. When I passed them, I got that feeling I can't describe. No, it's not jealousy. I chose to be this way. It was just awkward seeing them there.
I feel like I'm back at square 1. I feel like a freshmen again. You probably don't know what I mean by that, so I'll tell you. When I was a freshman, my best friend's brother, who is very much like a brother to me, started dating one of my friends. Basically, it was a bad time of my life and I learned a thing or two while ruining some friendships. Now that I'm a senior, I don't plan on interfering with my brother since 1. he's my actual brother and 2. I don't know the girl very well. I'll just keep my mouth shut. I know it's not going to last and I'm not gonna try to argue with my 15 year old brother about it. He can make his own mistakes.
Like I said before, I'm not at all jealous of him. He's only been dating this girl since Friday I think. I chose this way of life and soon my high school career will be over, but that doesn't necessarily mean that I'll go looking for love. I know girls are not physical like guys, but rather emotional. I don't need to go looking for love especially in all the wrong places because I know who really loves me. God loves me.
While thinking about how much boys aren't in my head, I realized what is usually on my mind. It's youth group. I'm always thinking about youth group. Sometimes I'm remembering the way things used to be while other times I'm just complaining. Whatever it is, I'm thinking about it.
Yesterday, I kinda threw myself into a state of depression on accident while reading someone's blog. I don't blame the person who wrote the blog at all though because I actually enjoy reading their blog. It was just youth group came to mind. I only go to youth group on Sundays and Wednesdays and I guess on some Fridays whenever we have a movie night. We don't do small groups here, but why can't we? It's probably because we don't have enough kids to do it with.
I don't want to compare my youth group with other groups, but I'm kinda going to. Other youth groups I've read about or heard about have small groups. Of course, they probably have a bunch of teens too. This really just throws me in a hole.
Maybe we need to work on growth. The problem with growth on the teen level in my church is that no one brings friends. The usual excuse and I've used it too is that all our friends already go to church or at least say they do. There is one church in my town, the biggest I believe, where a lot of people say they go to that church, but they don't really. Why can't we take a risk and bring our friends to church with us?
When we had our last youth group gathering thingy, I brought a friend with me. This friend I was kinda afraid to invite because I didn't know how the others would react. Most of them say they don't like her, but they don't even know her let alone get to know her. I took a risk and it wasn't so bad. It was a fun night hiding remotes from one of our chaperones and making him search all over my aunt's house just to find out that his sister had it the whole time.
See? I told you I had youth group on the brain. And you know what? Usually, I fall asleep thinking about youth group. Maybe that's why I have so many dreams about youth group. So no, I don't have boys on the brain much. Maybe in a few years, it will be different.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Could you just say it to my face?
Ever since this past summer, I've been really peeved about youth group. I'm not as peeved about youth group anymore since I enjoy Wednesday nights. I do have a problem with Sunday school though. And by saying what I'm about to say, I'm risking a lot especially if anyone from church is reading this. It's a risk I'm willing to take though.
I know. I know. You hear me complain enough about Sunday school, but this thought is on my mind right now, so why not share it?
First of all you have to understand that we have split classes on Sundays. Somehow it has worked out that we have a bunch of younger boys and not a lot of younger girls. We've had split classes since last year when our youth pastors moved away. Our Sunday ritual goes a little like this: question, word or words of the day, trivia, and a lesson. We hardly ever seem to get to the lesson anymore and that bugs me.
I've gotten to the point of not even talking in the class. My best friend used to say that sometimes when our youth pastor was giving a lesson, she would just stare at the wall the whole time. That's how I feel right now. I can't do that though. I won't allow for that to happen to my mind. If I can't concentrate on the lesson, then I need to be doing something else and that doesn't include doodling like one of my friends does usually during the sermon. Lately I've just been reading a lot in class.
Last week, our teacher asked us what we wanted to learn about next. Most of the girls said they wanted a list of what our teacher wanted to teach us. One of my friends, knowing my predicament, asked me if I had anything to say. That made me so mad. I just stared at her and said nothing. I don't even know why I told her a few months ago when I know that it takes a long time to build up trust, but seconds to tear it down.
I wasn't going to tell my class and teacher how I was feeling. It's not that I don't trust most of them. It's the fact that they wouldn't get it. Because of the type of person I am, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings by what I have to say. The majority of the class wants a list from our teacher, but I'm the only one who doesn't; I'm the minority. Also I realize that everyone in that class is at a different level spiritually and while I want to go deeper, the rest of them seem to be fine where they are.
A few times over the summer, I actually switched classes because I was bored in the girls class. I went to the boys class and that was a little awkward being the only girl there especially when we started talking about "knowing" people, which had nothing to do with the lesson. I also went to the adults class. I've decided I can't be in the boys class because it gets weird and awkward. The girls class bores me. The adults just wouldn't be able to handle me. I'm in between. That's what I need. I need an in between class. I'm still teenish and I like to joke around and talk a lot, but I need something more than what the teen girls are talking about. Maybe I need independent study.
So this brings me back to yesterday. Our teacher was sick, so we had a choice. Go with the awkward boys, go with the old adults (no offense), or improv our own lesson. I was just standing there after our pastor told us that and a few girls were talking and I heard my name mentioned. I mean I guess they could have been talking about the town. Haha, Chelsea from Chelsea. But I think they were talking about me. And it wouldn't surprise me one bit if my one friend who knows my problem has told the others. The others asked what I was gonna do and I told them I guess I was going with the girls, so we did an improv lesson that didn't actually work since it was practically a gossip hour. Ooh gossip in church. Yeah not a good thing.
What gets me the most is that I was being talked about and probably not in a good way. I probably shouldn't be assuming things because of geometry and the fact that the pastor's family says the saying goes it makes and ass out of you and me. I was surprised hearing that come out of their mouths.
I guess my point is, if you know I have a problem with something, don't ask me about it in an awkward situation. And don't go talking about it to your friends. That's like a double backstabbing and I hate that feeling. Don't talk about me in bad terms behind my back. That's not cool. It just shoves me deeper into the minority of the group. Sorry, I can't help being different and wanting something more.
I know. I know. You hear me complain enough about Sunday school, but this thought is on my mind right now, so why not share it?
First of all you have to understand that we have split classes on Sundays. Somehow it has worked out that we have a bunch of younger boys and not a lot of younger girls. We've had split classes since last year when our youth pastors moved away. Our Sunday ritual goes a little like this: question, word or words of the day, trivia, and a lesson. We hardly ever seem to get to the lesson anymore and that bugs me.
I've gotten to the point of not even talking in the class. My best friend used to say that sometimes when our youth pastor was giving a lesson, she would just stare at the wall the whole time. That's how I feel right now. I can't do that though. I won't allow for that to happen to my mind. If I can't concentrate on the lesson, then I need to be doing something else and that doesn't include doodling like one of my friends does usually during the sermon. Lately I've just been reading a lot in class.
Last week, our teacher asked us what we wanted to learn about next. Most of the girls said they wanted a list of what our teacher wanted to teach us. One of my friends, knowing my predicament, asked me if I had anything to say. That made me so mad. I just stared at her and said nothing. I don't even know why I told her a few months ago when I know that it takes a long time to build up trust, but seconds to tear it down.
I wasn't going to tell my class and teacher how I was feeling. It's not that I don't trust most of them. It's the fact that they wouldn't get it. Because of the type of person I am, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings by what I have to say. The majority of the class wants a list from our teacher, but I'm the only one who doesn't; I'm the minority. Also I realize that everyone in that class is at a different level spiritually and while I want to go deeper, the rest of them seem to be fine where they are.
A few times over the summer, I actually switched classes because I was bored in the girls class. I went to the boys class and that was a little awkward being the only girl there especially when we started talking about "knowing" people, which had nothing to do with the lesson. I also went to the adults class. I've decided I can't be in the boys class because it gets weird and awkward. The girls class bores me. The adults just wouldn't be able to handle me. I'm in between. That's what I need. I need an in between class. I'm still teenish and I like to joke around and talk a lot, but I need something more than what the teen girls are talking about. Maybe I need independent study.
So this brings me back to yesterday. Our teacher was sick, so we had a choice. Go with the awkward boys, go with the old adults (no offense), or improv our own lesson. I was just standing there after our pastor told us that and a few girls were talking and I heard my name mentioned. I mean I guess they could have been talking about the town. Haha, Chelsea from Chelsea. But I think they were talking about me. And it wouldn't surprise me one bit if my one friend who knows my problem has told the others. The others asked what I was gonna do and I told them I guess I was going with the girls, so we did an improv lesson that didn't actually work since it was practically a gossip hour. Ooh gossip in church. Yeah not a good thing.
What gets me the most is that I was being talked about and probably not in a good way. I probably shouldn't be assuming things because of geometry and the fact that the pastor's family says the saying goes it makes and ass out of you and me. I was surprised hearing that come out of their mouths.
I guess my point is, if you know I have a problem with something, don't ask me about it in an awkward situation. And don't go talking about it to your friends. That's like a double backstabbing and I hate that feeling. Don't talk about me in bad terms behind my back. That's not cool. It just shoves me deeper into the minority of the group. Sorry, I can't help being different and wanting something more.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
The Most Famous Person in the World
Recently or more like yesterday, I finished this book. It was a good book. It's basically what I would call a step to step look at how one becomes Christian I guess. It has three sections called getting to know the Father; learning to serve the Son; and living to honor the Spirit. Now if I'm already a Christian, why would I read a book such as this. Well I hadn't realized that this is what the point of it was until after I got the book. But I really enjoyed reading it. It was the book I was reading during Sunday school last week because I couldn't concentrate on what they were talking about. My idea is that if I can't concentrate, I'm not gonna stare at a wall and think about other things. I'm in Sunday school for about an hour and I need to learn something to God's honor, so why not read something?Anyways, there's a chapter in the book called Christianity's trademark and it really got my attention with the burning question they ask at the beginning of the chapter. Not only that, but it's also been on my mind ever since reading it and I have a personal story to share too. Ok, I think I'm going to quote the story part of this chapter.
Why are some Christians such hypocrites? Shouldn't they be living differently than the people of the world? Shouldn't they be living with more love and less hate?
I met the most famous person in the world. Not in a palace or a ballroom or an auditorium. Not at a convention center or in a stadium or at a political rally. I met him on a blazing summer afternoon in the inner-city of Boulder, Colorado. He was standing outside a Subway Restaurant.
I'd just ordered two 12-inch subs when he walked by the window. At first I didn't recognize him. I just happened to glance out the window as he walked by. Huh, what a weird-looking dude, I thought. I ate six inches. Twelve inches. Eighteen delicious inches of submarine sandwich. Then I carefully wiped the mayonnaise off my chin and smiled. Only six inches left, but I was pretty full. For a moment, I wondered if I should throw it away....Naw, I'll just eat it on the train ride back home.
As I left the restaurant, I saw him again. This time he was leaning over a garbage can. He moved slowly and deliberately, shuffling around, searching and scouring for something. Anything. Still, I did not recognize this man. His clothes hung in shreds, his face blackened with grime. Slowly he moved from one garbage can to another, from one dumpster to the next. He slid his hand into the stench and pulled out a moldy, dripping bun. Without a second thought he slid it into his pocket and continued his search. That's when I realized he was searching for food. I looked at the sandwich in my hand. I can do a good deed and help this poor homeless man, I thought. "Here," I heard myself say. "Take this."
I held the sandwich out to him. He didn't look up. He didn't even acknowledge me. Instead he just thrust out a claw-like hand and clutched the gift. He said nothing as he shuffled away. And still, I didn't know him; didn't recognize this filthy homeless man. I strolled to the train station, impressed by my personal sacrifice. How kind and thoughtful I'd been! Chalk one up for me in the ol' good deeds department! Though I might be tempted to forget that man, I could always remember that little kindness I'd shown!
However. I saw him again. Once in a Cincinnati airport sitting by a heating vent. Once backing his way down a Wisconsin highway. Once in Tennessee, with his head hung low, holding a sign: "WILL WORK FOR FOOD." I've seen his face on commercials, on buses, on street corners, in alleys, outside high-rise apartments, in libraries, on park benches. He lives in Rwanda...Calcutta...Haiti...New York...far away...next door...down the street. His face seems to pop up everywhere I look these days.
Who is he? His name is Jesus. Yes, the Jesus.
Jesus said, "For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink. I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me." Matthew 25:35-36
Jesus said, "The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'" Matthew 25:40
Have you met Him before? I have many times before, but like most I usually ignore it. I can be such a hypocrite sometimes. Sometimes I think that he's not my problem. Someone else will help him. Or I'm in a hurry, I'll help the next one I see. Or what would people think if they saw me talking to him?
It's almost as if I'm ashamed or something to go talk to someone who needs something. I shouldn't be though and I know it. In order to server Jesus, we need to serve those in need of help.
Have you ever listened to the song Every Man by Casting Crowns? The song talks about Jesus being in every person you meet. Jesus is anywhere and everywhere. We shouldn't just ignore someone because that person might be Jesus and Jesus doesn't want us to ignore His existence.
Do you know what love is? Well it certainly isn't a feeling. Haven't you ever heard the song Luv is a Verb by DC Talk. I remember the pastor at my old youth pastors' wedding saying something about how they, my old youth pastors, really show that luv is a verb. It's true. Love is a verb. It's something you do. God calls us to love everyone, not just who you're friends with.
I've probably said this before, but I hang out with a different crowd. I guess it could be in my genes because my dad seemed to be the same way, but whatever it is, I do it and I can't help it. I hang out with those kids that others hate. Hey, Jesus hung out with prostitutes. How do I know these kids are hated? Well, ok, I hang out with two groups and one of them is my youth group friends and the other are what I'll call outcasts kinda. I hear it in the halls that some don't like these kids because they smell or dress a lot differently, a little less modest. I think I hang out with these kids because they actually "get" me. Not many in my youth group actually understand me. They don't "get" that I used to be bullied. They don't "get" that sometimes I don't feel like I fit in. They don't "get" that I sometimes feel like an outcast. I sometimes wonder if what I call my outcast group of friends, is the truer group of my friends.
Ok, I guess it's time for my personal story, which happened yesterday. But I guess you have to know the whole story to understand it. In biology yesterday, we were celebrating the fact that we're finally done dissecting the fetal pigs. Biology is right before lunch for me, so I was especially full after eating one of my friends' octuple brownies. That's a lot of chocolate, so I didn't really eat lunch because that brownie was sitting at the bottom of my stomach all afternoon. I ate a few things, but I saved my granola bar thinking I would eat it later. Come on, it was a Butterfinger granola bar. In psychology, we were working on our final projects and watching a movie. My friend mentioned to me that she was hungry, so knowing I had that granola bar in my purse (and thinking I was gonna eat it at home; how selfish), I asked her if she wanted it and she said yes. So I gave it to her because I didn't want to be selfish at the time. She was excited that it was Butterfinger. We have something in common. Giving her that granola bar made me feel good. It was my good deed of the day I guess.
Jesus said, "For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink. I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me." Matthew 25:35-36
I believe my friend was Jesus yesterday. She was hungry and I gave her something to eat. I want to serve Him and in order to do so I need to serve my friends and strangers too. Think about it. What do you want to do? Serve yourself or serve Him?
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Another year older
It's true. Today I'm officially another year older. Well not only that, but today at 12:05 this afternoon, I turned into an adult. I'm officially 18. That's amazing.
Today I got a lot of Happy Birthdays from friends and stuff. It was especially embarrassing when my biology 2 class sang Happy Birthday to me. That's one problem with having your birthday on a school day. At least, it wasn't the band singing it. There's a reason most of us are in band and that reason is some of us can't sing. I probably shouldn't say that about me since my church choir believes I can sing and I do have two solos this year. Geez, I should practice.
Our youth group was going to an internet safety presentation tonight at our middle school. Because it's my birthday, I just decided to stay home since my parents wanted to have a special dinner for me. I know of a few other people who didn't want to go and ended up not going to the presentation, so all is good with that. I shouldn't say this, but my little joke with my pastor/piano teacher was that if we didn't go, there could be three kids missing next week. After I started naming off who was gonna be gone, he said I didn't get to choose, but I figured out the three who could be now since there are three that I know of who didn't go. Maybe there were even more.
One reason for the presentation is that lately school districts near mine has been having trouble with kids sending bad pictures of themselves to the entire school via their cell phone. Sorry guys, but I have better judgment and morals than that. Why would I want to send a dirty picture of myself? Wait...why would I take a dirty picture of myself and send it to people who I don't really know?
I wouldn't. I also not to be cocky or anything, but I've been on computers longer than most of my friends because I grew up on them, so I know internet safety. Plus we've had internet safety classes in school. I know what to not go onto.
So anyways, I stayed home and ate cake from Coldstone Creamery. It was so good. It was a peanut butter cup cake basically. So good! I know I said that already. I also got a call from some friends who I haven't talked to in a couple of months, which was cool. I got some cool stuff like Wii Fit. We've been messing with that one a bit tonight. My dad's fitness age is 60. I was at 33 at the start, but got down to 18, which was cool.
In the mail today, I got another thing from ATF or Acquire The Fire. It's addressed to the youth director at my house. Do I look like a youth director? I may be 18, but I'm no youth director. The last time they sent me something, it was a big box. Why do I keep getting these things? I really don't understand it.
Oh and did I mention that all week is like a party for me. On Monday, I had my marching band banquet. It was ok. It was actually kinda annoying. There was some disappointment that I don't feel like talking about because I'm just gonna let it go. Band isn't that important to me anyways. Then yesterday, I went out with my friend and my aunt to go shopping at Agape bookstore for my Birthday present from my aunt. I got a book called Dateable. No, I'm not dating yet, but I just find dating books very interesting. Actually I love all kinds of youth books. I love spiritual books. I have a ton of purity teen books on dating and such. Tonight I had dinner and cake with my parents and neighbor/adopted grandma. Tomorrow is my uncle's birthday, so we're having a family get together at my aunt's house with some of my extended family for both birthdays. Then on Friday, we have a renewal service and there's a potluck, but I'm not sure if I'll go to that yet. I might just be dead tired and sleep on Friday. On Saturday, I'm going to check out a few colleges.
Anyways, I think that's all I've got for today. I'm so tired tonight and ready for bed. Two more days of school until the weekend. Oh and geez, I forgot that I need to practice piano for my lesson tomorrow, but practicing will have to wait until tomorrow because it's getting late here. Hey if practice makes perfect and nobody's perfect, then why practice?
Today I got a lot of Happy Birthdays from friends and stuff. It was especially embarrassing when my biology 2 class sang Happy Birthday to me. That's one problem with having your birthday on a school day. At least, it wasn't the band singing it. There's a reason most of us are in band and that reason is some of us can't sing. I probably shouldn't say that about me since my church choir believes I can sing and I do have two solos this year. Geez, I should practice.
Our youth group was going to an internet safety presentation tonight at our middle school. Because it's my birthday, I just decided to stay home since my parents wanted to have a special dinner for me. I know of a few other people who didn't want to go and ended up not going to the presentation, so all is good with that. I shouldn't say this, but my little joke with my pastor/piano teacher was that if we didn't go, there could be three kids missing next week. After I started naming off who was gonna be gone, he said I didn't get to choose, but I figured out the three who could be now since there are three that I know of who didn't go. Maybe there were even more.
One reason for the presentation is that lately school districts near mine has been having trouble with kids sending bad pictures of themselves to the entire school via their cell phone. Sorry guys, but I have better judgment and morals than that. Why would I want to send a dirty picture of myself? Wait...why would I take a dirty picture of myself and send it to people who I don't really know?
I wouldn't. I also not to be cocky or anything, but I've been on computers longer than most of my friends because I grew up on them, so I know internet safety. Plus we've had internet safety classes in school. I know what to not go onto.
So anyways, I stayed home and ate cake from Coldstone Creamery. It was so good. It was a peanut butter cup cake basically. So good! I know I said that already. I also got a call from some friends who I haven't talked to in a couple of months, which was cool. I got some cool stuff like Wii Fit. We've been messing with that one a bit tonight. My dad's fitness age is 60. I was at 33 at the start, but got down to 18, which was cool.
In the mail today, I got another thing from ATF or Acquire The Fire. It's addressed to the youth director at my house. Do I look like a youth director? I may be 18, but I'm no youth director. The last time they sent me something, it was a big box. Why do I keep getting these things? I really don't understand it.
Oh and did I mention that all week is like a party for me. On Monday, I had my marching band banquet. It was ok. It was actually kinda annoying. There was some disappointment that I don't feel like talking about because I'm just gonna let it go. Band isn't that important to me anyways. Then yesterday, I went out with my friend and my aunt to go shopping at Agape bookstore for my Birthday present from my aunt. I got a book called Dateable. No, I'm not dating yet, but I just find dating books very interesting. Actually I love all kinds of youth books. I love spiritual books. I have a ton of purity teen books on dating and such. Tonight I had dinner and cake with my parents and neighbor/adopted grandma. Tomorrow is my uncle's birthday, so we're having a family get together at my aunt's house with some of my extended family for both birthdays. Then on Friday, we have a renewal service and there's a potluck, but I'm not sure if I'll go to that yet. I might just be dead tired and sleep on Friday. On Saturday, I'm going to check out a few colleges.
Anyways, I think that's all I've got for today. I'm so tired tonight and ready for bed. Two more days of school until the weekend. Oh and geez, I forgot that I need to practice piano for my lesson tomorrow, but practicing will have to wait until tomorrow because it's getting late here. Hey if practice makes perfect and nobody's perfect, then why practice?
Thursday, November 6, 2008
In God We Trust
This should sound really familiar to you. Why? Because it's on all of our money except for a few choice coins, which didn't have it by accident. But that's a different story learned in government class for a later date maybe.
Speaking of government class, today we took a literacy test. If you don't know what that is, it was a test given to African Americans in order to not allow them to vote. It has 58 questions and you have to do it in 15 minutes. If you didn't know the answer or got any answer wrong, you couldn't vote. That's just sad. Well, I got a lot wrong, but among the ones I got right was the one asking about what saying is on all of our money: In God We Trust.
In God We Trust. This got me thinking, but not really about government, which I should have been concentrating on since I have a test tomorrow. It got me thinking about an idea one of the guys told me about in youth group last night.
We have a rock in my town that everyone paints on. This one guy in my youth group said he wanted to write "Impeach Obama" on it and just sit waiting for anyone to change it. At first I laughed at it. I'm not that negative about Obama. I don't trust him, yes, and I don't really like him. So? I'm also no longer into doing radical things like painting "Impeach Obama" on a rock. It could be my age or my careless attitude towards politics, but I'm just not into that kind of stuff.
Actually I used to rebel a lot or at least act like I was going to when I was younger. I'm over that stuff now. I don't feel like rebelling.
In God We Trust. Does that mean anything to you? Have you ever even thought about what the dollar says on the back of it? This nation was built believing in God.
In God We Trust. Do you hate who the next president is going to be? Are you a Republican? Are you a Democrat? Are you caught in the middle? It doesn't matter. God doesn't look at that kind of stuff. If you're among those so opposed to Obama being president, I suggest you take up with the Big Man Himself, because it's what He chose for the United States.
I think more than anything, those of us who aren't exactly happy with who the next president is, we need to trust God. He knows what's right for us.
Speaking of government class, today we took a literacy test. If you don't know what that is, it was a test given to African Americans in order to not allow them to vote. It has 58 questions and you have to do it in 15 minutes. If you didn't know the answer or got any answer wrong, you couldn't vote. That's just sad. Well, I got a lot wrong, but among the ones I got right was the one asking about what saying is on all of our money: In God We Trust.
In God We Trust. This got me thinking, but not really about government, which I should have been concentrating on since I have a test tomorrow. It got me thinking about an idea one of the guys told me about in youth group last night.
We have a rock in my town that everyone paints on. This one guy in my youth group said he wanted to write "Impeach Obama" on it and just sit waiting for anyone to change it. At first I laughed at it. I'm not that negative about Obama. I don't trust him, yes, and I don't really like him. So? I'm also no longer into doing radical things like painting "Impeach Obama" on a rock. It could be my age or my careless attitude towards politics, but I'm just not into that kind of stuff.
Actually I used to rebel a lot or at least act like I was going to when I was younger. I'm over that stuff now. I don't feel like rebelling.
In God We Trust. Does that mean anything to you? Have you ever even thought about what the dollar says on the back of it? This nation was built believing in God.
In God We Trust. Do you hate who the next president is going to be? Are you a Republican? Are you a Democrat? Are you caught in the middle? It doesn't matter. God doesn't look at that kind of stuff. If you're among those so opposed to Obama being president, I suggest you take up with the Big Man Himself, because it's what He chose for the United States.
I think more than anything, those of us who aren't exactly happy with who the next president is, we need to trust God. He knows what's right for us.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Makin' History
I absolutely hate politics. I know I should care more about it than I do, but I just hate everything about it. I know that the nation would be chaos without government though. I'm a senior in high school and so you probably know what class I'm in. Yep, government. My history teacher last year said that this would be a cool year for us because of the election. I don't like everything that goes on with elections. I'm glad the political ads are done for this year finally. It was annoying enough.
About a week ago, we took a political party test to see which we fit in with. I'm a hardcore moderate. I'm not leaning either way. But when we voted for presidents yesterday in class, I took the Republican side. To be completely honest, Obama scares me and I don't really trust him. Maybe you should be glad that I didn't get to vote this year because my birthday is next week. I missed it by a week. Darn, I was so sad...not.
But I'm not here to tell you about how much I hate politics. I'm tired of people telling me that Obama is making history. Yes, he's the 44th president and he's black. First this morning, my band teacher, who is a hardcore democrat (but we're not really supposed to know that), he told us that we should be amazed or something like that because Obama is making history. Then last hour of the day, my government teacher tells us the same thing. Oh my! We're witnessing history being made. I should be so amazed, right? I'm not and let me tell you why.
Obama, you may be making history right now, but so am I. Each and every one of us makes history every day of our lives. So I don't have tvs on me right now like Obama probably does. It doesn't matter. I'm still making history. How?
Do you write in journals? I do everyday and I love it. I have three main journals right now: my day to day journal, my prayer journal, and my dream journal (as in REM sleep dreams). I've been writing blogs since I was in 8th grade starting with my first ever blog on Xanga. However, I've been writing in journals for way longer. I've been writing in journals since about kindergarten or first grade. My very first diary was one with a lock and I used to write "Dear Diary" a lot. Journals? How are you making history with that?
Well, last year after our last youth pastors left, we got a new Sunday school teacher in the girls class who said we were going to start writing in journals about whatever we want because we're writing our life stories. Actually you know what? God has the story and this is how I see it: He's telling it through us and we're writing it down. It's kinda like the Bible, that's how I see it anyways. We've kinda slipped away from that in Sunday school though, which really bugs me because when we first started talking about it, I was all in. I was ready to write it all out. And while my fellow friends in that class really haven't engaged in it, I have. I love to write as you may be able to tell with this blog.
I'm hoping that someday I will be able to share my journals, life story, etc. with my children. That's one reason I love to write in journals. I know that one day someone else will read about my life. I also like to go back through blogs and journals to see how far I've come since then.
Have you listened to Matthew West's song History? It goes like this:
It's been a bad day
You've been looking back
And all you can see is everything you wish you could take back
All your mistakes
A world of regrets
All of those moments you would rather forget
I know it's hard to believe Let me refresh your memory
CHORUS
Yesterday is history And history is miles away
So, leave it all behind you
But let it always remind you of the day
The day that love made history
You know you can't stay right where you fell
The hardest part is forgiving yourself
But let's take a walk into today
And don't let your past get in the way
Would you believe that you are history in the making, in the making?
Every choice that you are making
Every step that you are taking
Every chain that you are breaking
History is in the making
Every word that you are saying
Every prayer that you are praying
Every chain that you are breaking
History is in the making
History is in the making
History is in the making
Matthew West is right. History is in the making. Don't worry about one bad day, it's history. One day shouldn't break you.
Jesus said, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34
I'm hoping to leave a legacy. Actually I know I'm leaving a legacy. In church, as much as I don't want it to be, my legacy I fear I'll leave is my flute playing. I like playing flute at church, it's a talent for God. I don't play because people like me to play on Sunday mornings and they all say they miss it, but do they not realize why I'm playing? Or who I'm playing for? It's not for them as pretty as it may sound, it's not for them. I play for God.
Sanctus Real sings this:
What will they say when I'm gone,
In words that are written in stone?
Under my name, what will they claim about me?
Oh, I want to leave a legacy to be remembered.
More than just a memory that fades away
Because we only, we only get one life
Free me, my hands are tied
I'm so tired of wasting time
These endless inventions
Steal my attention from real life
And when its done, when its over
Oh, I want to leave a legacy to be remembered
More than just a memory that fades away
Because we only, we only get one life
And will the world see Christ
When they look at my life?
Oh, will the world see?
Mmm, come on, give me, give me, give me real life
And no more, no more, no more wasting time
Because we only, we only get one life (Just one Life)
Oh, I want to leave a legacy to be remembered
More than just a memory that fades away
Because we only, (Get one shot, at this one life) We only (One moment in time)
Because we only, we only get one life
I want to leave a legacy and not a memory that fades away. I'm afraid playing the flute is just a memory that will fade from their minds once I move on. Honestly what will people see when they look at my life? What will they see when they look at my history? Will it be good? Or will it be bad? I don't know. I hope it's good. I don't want to remembered for something bad. You know what I would love to be remembered for (and forgive me for saying this, but the leadership book I just finished told me that I should tell people these kinds of things)? I want to be remembered for my humor; making people laugh and making them realize that life doesn't suck. I want them to feel the love of God. I want them to see Christ when they look at my life. I want to make people think deeper than they ever have. I want to change the lives of those reading this by what I write here. I want to be remembered for using my spiritual gifts to the best of my ability how ever God chooses to use me.
Yes, Obama, you just made history. But you're not the only one. Remember even we as people who aren't politicians and celebrities are making history. And remember that one day is no big deal, it will just be one bad day of history in your life. Out of the many days of your life I imagine there probably aren't that many bad days, which is a good thing. Don't worry so much about yesterday or tomorrow, listen to Jesus. You and I are making history today right now. What do you want to be remembered for?
About a week ago, we took a political party test to see which we fit in with. I'm a hardcore moderate. I'm not leaning either way. But when we voted for presidents yesterday in class, I took the Republican side. To be completely honest, Obama scares me and I don't really trust him. Maybe you should be glad that I didn't get to vote this year because my birthday is next week. I missed it by a week. Darn, I was so sad...not.
But I'm not here to tell you about how much I hate politics. I'm tired of people telling me that Obama is making history. Yes, he's the 44th president and he's black. First this morning, my band teacher, who is a hardcore democrat (but we're not really supposed to know that), he told us that we should be amazed or something like that because Obama is making history. Then last hour of the day, my government teacher tells us the same thing. Oh my! We're witnessing history being made. I should be so amazed, right? I'm not and let me tell you why.
Obama, you may be making history right now, but so am I. Each and every one of us makes history every day of our lives. So I don't have tvs on me right now like Obama probably does. It doesn't matter. I'm still making history. How?
Do you write in journals? I do everyday and I love it. I have three main journals right now: my day to day journal, my prayer journal, and my dream journal (as in REM sleep dreams). I've been writing blogs since I was in 8th grade starting with my first ever blog on Xanga. However, I've been writing in journals for way longer. I've been writing in journals since about kindergarten or first grade. My very first diary was one with a lock and I used to write "Dear Diary" a lot. Journals? How are you making history with that?
Well, last year after our last youth pastors left, we got a new Sunday school teacher in the girls class who said we were going to start writing in journals about whatever we want because we're writing our life stories. Actually you know what? God has the story and this is how I see it: He's telling it through us and we're writing it down. It's kinda like the Bible, that's how I see it anyways. We've kinda slipped away from that in Sunday school though, which really bugs me because when we first started talking about it, I was all in. I was ready to write it all out. And while my fellow friends in that class really haven't engaged in it, I have. I love to write as you may be able to tell with this blog.
I'm hoping that someday I will be able to share my journals, life story, etc. with my children. That's one reason I love to write in journals. I know that one day someone else will read about my life. I also like to go back through blogs and journals to see how far I've come since then.
Have you listened to Matthew West's song History? It goes like this:
It's been a bad day
You've been looking back
And all you can see is everything you wish you could take back
All your mistakes
A world of regrets
All of those moments you would rather forget
I know it's hard to believe Let me refresh your memory
CHORUS
Yesterday is history And history is miles away
So, leave it all behind you
But let it always remind you of the day
The day that love made history
You know you can't stay right where you fell
The hardest part is forgiving yourself
But let's take a walk into today
And don't let your past get in the way
Would you believe that you are history in the making, in the making?
Every choice that you are making
Every step that you are taking
Every chain that you are breaking
History is in the making
Every word that you are saying
Every prayer that you are praying
Every chain that you are breaking
History is in the making
History is in the making
History is in the making
Matthew West is right. History is in the making. Don't worry about one bad day, it's history. One day shouldn't break you.
Jesus said, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34
I'm hoping to leave a legacy. Actually I know I'm leaving a legacy. In church, as much as I don't want it to be, my legacy I fear I'll leave is my flute playing. I like playing flute at church, it's a talent for God. I don't play because people like me to play on Sunday mornings and they all say they miss it, but do they not realize why I'm playing? Or who I'm playing for? It's not for them as pretty as it may sound, it's not for them. I play for God.
Sanctus Real sings this:
What will they say when I'm gone,
In words that are written in stone?
Under my name, what will they claim about me?
Oh, I want to leave a legacy to be remembered.
More than just a memory that fades away
Because we only, we only get one life
Free me, my hands are tied
I'm so tired of wasting time
These endless inventions
Steal my attention from real life
And when its done, when its over
Oh, I want to leave a legacy to be remembered
More than just a memory that fades away
Because we only, we only get one life
And will the world see Christ
When they look at my life?
Oh, will the world see?
Mmm, come on, give me, give me, give me real life
And no more, no more, no more wasting time
Because we only, we only get one life (Just one Life)
Oh, I want to leave a legacy to be remembered
More than just a memory that fades away
Because we only, (Get one shot, at this one life) We only (One moment in time)
Because we only, we only get one life
I want to leave a legacy and not a memory that fades away. I'm afraid playing the flute is just a memory that will fade from their minds once I move on. Honestly what will people see when they look at my life? What will they see when they look at my history? Will it be good? Or will it be bad? I don't know. I hope it's good. I don't want to remembered for something bad. You know what I would love to be remembered for (and forgive me for saying this, but the leadership book I just finished told me that I should tell people these kinds of things)? I want to be remembered for my humor; making people laugh and making them realize that life doesn't suck. I want them to feel the love of God. I want them to see Christ when they look at my life. I want to make people think deeper than they ever have. I want to change the lives of those reading this by what I write here. I want to be remembered for using my spiritual gifts to the best of my ability how ever God chooses to use me.
Yes, Obama, you just made history. But you're not the only one. Remember even we as people who aren't politicians and celebrities are making history. And remember that one day is no big deal, it will just be one bad day of history in your life. Out of the many days of your life I imagine there probably aren't that many bad days, which is a good thing. Don't worry so much about yesterday or tomorrow, listen to Jesus. You and I are making history today right now. What do you want to be remembered for?
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Are you even listening?
"I was "working" today, but not really because I couldn't really do what they were doing." I said.
"What were they doing?" My mom asked.
"Putting dry wall up on the ceiling. But I did have to help out when Noah left."
"Why did Noah leave? What did you have to do?" My mom asked picking up her phone and dialing a number.
"He had to go when his parents came. I had to put--"
"Hey dad, there's some stuff in the freezer and a cake for mom too. Ok, talk to you later."
She puts the phone down.
"You know I was talking to you." I said.
"Yes, and I was listening. You were talking about Noah. Go on."
I don't know about you, but this is what a normal conversation with my mother is like. Her cellphone is never very far from her face. While this conversation might not be exactly quote to quote of one of the conversations tonight, it's pretty close. I was talking about my day while we were eating dinner and she just picked up her phone and started talking to my grandpa.
This happens to me a lot in my family. I know my mom loves me, but sometimes I just feel like she just doesn't care enough. And it's not just my mom, it's actually a lot of people in my family. I'm neither the youngest or the oldest cousin in my family. I'm in the middle and while I see a lot of my other middle cousins getting the attention, I don't always feel like people are listening to me. This feeling really sucks.
I feel like I have to fight for my conversations. I sometimes feel like I don't have a say in certain things. I feel like it's a fight for survival. No wonder I don't really talk at a lot of our family gatherings. I really feel like no one wants to hear what I'm saying. I feel like no one cares.
Gee, that also sounds familiar. I feel like I have to fight for my conversations in my church family too particularly in Sunday school. It's way worse in Sunday school. And just to let you know, I'm probably the only one who feels this way in that class. I do feel like no one cares.
Everyone in my Sunday school class seems to think I'm a good listener. Why do you think that is? Probably because I never say anything in Sunday school. I'm kinda afraid to say anything in Sunday school anymore. Every time I do, it feels like they just don't even think about what I've said. Though even when I'm only with one or two of these friends, they say I'm a good listener. You don't really have a choice when your friends really like to talk. I'm not saying that's a bad thing.
I'm not trying to be self-centered. I don't want a lot of attention actually. I just want to feel like what I'm saying is actually penetrating someone's mind. I don't want what I say to go in one ear and out the other. Are you listening to me?
Sometimes I feel invisible to the world around me. And some may say that I need to get out there and be noticed. I don't want a lot of attention though. Probably why one of my favorite things to do is pray. Praying is a behind the scenes type thing and I really enjoy it. You don't have to tell anyone you're praying, but you can if you want to.
I'm not invisible and I know that. The world might not take me seriously at times and listen to what I'm saying. My family and Sunday school class might not listen to me either. No one in this world may be reading this blog right now. But I do know the One who will listen to my cries, praises, prayers, and everything else. And that One as you may have already guessed is God.
And don't think that He only listens to me. How self-centered would it be to think that? What would the point be if God only cared about one person? He doesn't care just solely about me. He cares about each and every one of you. And He wants a personal relationship with you if you choose to receive Him.
Some people may turn away from God because they think He's not listening. Just because God doesn't do anything right away doesn't mean He's not listening. He has open ears 24/7. If you ask God for something, He will give it to you. He may not give it right away, but He will give it to you eventually. Maybe He's just saying, not right now to you. In that case, you should be patient.
Though on the subject of wanting a pony for your birthday, you might have to wait a few years for that.
I pray about the same things with added things every night. Does it get boring? No. I love praying. Is God listening to my cries and praises? Yes. How do I know? I can tell when He comforts me. I love praying for the same people because I trust and know that God is working in them.
A few thoughts for you. Forget me, you don't even have to listen to me. But what if God is speaking through me and you didn't know it? What if God is speaking through someone you know, but you aren't listening to them? Should you be? If you're not listening to us, are you listening to God?
You should be. Why? Because He holds the plan to your life. He knows you more than you know yourself and He knows just how to help you in your time of need. So stop looking to other things for comfort, and focus on God.
But seek his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33
"What were they doing?" My mom asked.
"Putting dry wall up on the ceiling. But I did have to help out when Noah left."
"Why did Noah leave? What did you have to do?" My mom asked picking up her phone and dialing a number.
"He had to go when his parents came. I had to put--"
"Hey dad, there's some stuff in the freezer and a cake for mom too. Ok, talk to you later."
She puts the phone down.
"You know I was talking to you." I said.
"Yes, and I was listening. You were talking about Noah. Go on."
I don't know about you, but this is what a normal conversation with my mother is like. Her cellphone is never very far from her face. While this conversation might not be exactly quote to quote of one of the conversations tonight, it's pretty close. I was talking about my day while we were eating dinner and she just picked up her phone and started talking to my grandpa.
This happens to me a lot in my family. I know my mom loves me, but sometimes I just feel like she just doesn't care enough. And it's not just my mom, it's actually a lot of people in my family. I'm neither the youngest or the oldest cousin in my family. I'm in the middle and while I see a lot of my other middle cousins getting the attention, I don't always feel like people are listening to me. This feeling really sucks.
I feel like I have to fight for my conversations. I sometimes feel like I don't have a say in certain things. I feel like it's a fight for survival. No wonder I don't really talk at a lot of our family gatherings. I really feel like no one wants to hear what I'm saying. I feel like no one cares.
Gee, that also sounds familiar. I feel like I have to fight for my conversations in my church family too particularly in Sunday school. It's way worse in Sunday school. And just to let you know, I'm probably the only one who feels this way in that class. I do feel like no one cares.
Everyone in my Sunday school class seems to think I'm a good listener. Why do you think that is? Probably because I never say anything in Sunday school. I'm kinda afraid to say anything in Sunday school anymore. Every time I do, it feels like they just don't even think about what I've said. Though even when I'm only with one or two of these friends, they say I'm a good listener. You don't really have a choice when your friends really like to talk. I'm not saying that's a bad thing.
I'm not trying to be self-centered. I don't want a lot of attention actually. I just want to feel like what I'm saying is actually penetrating someone's mind. I don't want what I say to go in one ear and out the other. Are you listening to me?
Sometimes I feel invisible to the world around me. And some may say that I need to get out there and be noticed. I don't want a lot of attention though. Probably why one of my favorite things to do is pray. Praying is a behind the scenes type thing and I really enjoy it. You don't have to tell anyone you're praying, but you can if you want to.
I'm not invisible and I know that. The world might not take me seriously at times and listen to what I'm saying. My family and Sunday school class might not listen to me either. No one in this world may be reading this blog right now. But I do know the One who will listen to my cries, praises, prayers, and everything else. And that One as you may have already guessed is God.
And don't think that He only listens to me. How self-centered would it be to think that? What would the point be if God only cared about one person? He doesn't care just solely about me. He cares about each and every one of you. And He wants a personal relationship with you if you choose to receive Him.
Some people may turn away from God because they think He's not listening. Just because God doesn't do anything right away doesn't mean He's not listening. He has open ears 24/7. If you ask God for something, He will give it to you. He may not give it right away, but He will give it to you eventually. Maybe He's just saying, not right now to you. In that case, you should be patient.
Though on the subject of wanting a pony for your birthday, you might have to wait a few years for that.
I pray about the same things with added things every night. Does it get boring? No. I love praying. Is God listening to my cries and praises? Yes. How do I know? I can tell when He comforts me. I love praying for the same people because I trust and know that God is working in them.
A few thoughts for you. Forget me, you don't even have to listen to me. But what if God is speaking through me and you didn't know it? What if God is speaking through someone you know, but you aren't listening to them? Should you be? If you're not listening to us, are you listening to God?
You should be. Why? Because He holds the plan to your life. He knows you more than you know yourself and He knows just how to help you in your time of need. So stop looking to other things for comfort, and focus on God.
But seek his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33
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