Also known as going to the dentist. Ok, so the dentist means well, yes, and may not always be a torture chair for some, but in my case, it is.
I have bad teeth. Really bad teeth. Teeth so bad that even if I brush and floss (which I do; ok the flossing is another story) every day, I still have cavities. I have been in and out of oral surgery since I was a little kid. They usually knocked me out back then, which was a wonderful thing. I had a root canal when I was younger. Hm, no wonder, it was no big deal getting my wisdom teeth out. It simply felt like getting a filling. Speaking of fillings, I have just about all my molars filled. So yes, I have really bad teeth. Probably the result of the amount of calcium I'm lacking.
Today after not going to the dentist for a while (I don't remember the last time I went to the dentist), I had to go get my teeth cleaned. Ugh. I hate going to the dentist. Everytime I go, I always have cavities or watches on my teeth for cavities. It's such a pain in the mouth (haha, instead of pain in the butt).
Well, the verdict for me today was 3 cavities. So next Wednesday and the Wednesday after that I have to go in to get my teeth filled after school. That stinks. If I'm still numb by then, my youth group might have fun making fun of how I talk with my numb lips. That's ok, I'd laugh with them even if they were laughing at me.
I feel sorry for the dentist. I'm such a pain in the butt to them I know. I know it's their job to help our mouths, but I'm a literal pain to them. I feel bad for my parents too on this. I get really grumpy when I have to go to the dentist and I'm not fun to be around. The dental hygenists are so nice, but I'm so grumpy and sarcastic. I feel bad for them.
It's another thing I need to work on. I need to be polite even when I don't want to be polite. I need to be happy because the dentist is there to help me.
Today while at the dentist, I remembered this ad for Relient K's album mmhmm and it made me laugh. One thing I don't get about dentists is why they talk to us while they're working on our mouths. Do they really expect us to talk back? Maybe we should sign back or something. I don't know, but that's one thing I never understand.
Oh the one benefit of today's trip was that I got a sweet new toothbrush, but unfortunately the fluoride treatment gave me a headache (it always does and I'm not sure why). I was so happy after the 30 minutes was over because I hadn't eaten anything since lunch at 10:30 this morning.
I'm definitely gonna try to brush and floss more because I don't like dealing with cavities and I know my parents hate when I complain and the dentist probably complains about my attitude after I leave too. I need to work on all of this.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Just let it go
If you know me at all, then you know I can't let go of things very easily. Just last night, I came upon something that I decided I couldn't let go. But today, I've kinda just let it go. It was important last night, but not really anymore.
There are certain things I just can't let go. The fact that I can't do anything for my youth group is something I'm having the most difficulty with right now. Today I decided that if everyone else was gonna go secluded or whatever their doing right now, then that's what I'm gonna do too. Sometimes I wonder what they would think if I just stopped participating altogether. I've thought about it before. I've talked about switching churches. I think I'm kinda a chicken when it comes to that idea because have I switched churches yet? No. It's basically me just talking and venting things. Then I came upon something today.
Like a lot of teens (and now reaching to the adult generation), I have a Facebook. There are applications you can add and one that I have is called Pieces of Flair. You get a virtual cork board, and you can browse through buttons and find some to put on your board. I was bored tonight, so I was browsing through some flair (that's pretty much all I did during summer vacation and a little bit of winter break too).
I came upon this one piece of flair that just hit me over the head. I wasn't really thinking about youth group right then, but when I saw it, I instantly thought about youth group. The piece of flair? Let go and let God.
It's so true. Now if only I could do it. I just need to let this go and give it all to God and let him deal with it.
I guess it's just something that takes time. I prayed for peace last night in all of this mess (if that's what we should call it) and to help me to stop thinking about it. I had a dreamless sleep last night (quite unusual for me) and I woke up this morning and I was quite relaxed and at ease.
I'm sure I thought about youth group today, but it didn't strike me so hard until I saw that piece of flair. Let go and let God. It's a good idea that I'm gonna definitely work on.
There are certain things I just can't let go. The fact that I can't do anything for my youth group is something I'm having the most difficulty with right now. Today I decided that if everyone else was gonna go secluded or whatever their doing right now, then that's what I'm gonna do too. Sometimes I wonder what they would think if I just stopped participating altogether. I've thought about it before. I've talked about switching churches. I think I'm kinda a chicken when it comes to that idea because have I switched churches yet? No. It's basically me just talking and venting things. Then I came upon something today.
Like a lot of teens (and now reaching to the adult generation), I have a Facebook. There are applications you can add and one that I have is called Pieces of Flair. You get a virtual cork board, and you can browse through buttons and find some to put on your board. I was bored tonight, so I was browsing through some flair (that's pretty much all I did during summer vacation and a little bit of winter break too).
I came upon this one piece of flair that just hit me over the head. I wasn't really thinking about youth group right then, but when I saw it, I instantly thought about youth group. The piece of flair? Let go and let God.
It's so true. Now if only I could do it. I just need to let this go and give it all to God and let him deal with it.
I guess it's just something that takes time. I prayed for peace last night in all of this mess (if that's what we should call it) and to help me to stop thinking about it. I had a dreamless sleep last night (quite unusual for me) and I woke up this morning and I was quite relaxed and at ease.
I'm sure I thought about youth group today, but it didn't strike me so hard until I saw that piece of flair. Let go and let God. It's a good idea that I'm gonna definitely work on.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Love
Wow, you might get really upset with me or start thinking I'm in love with this guy, but I'm gonna talk about President Obama for like the millionth time in my blog.
No, I don't actually like the guy. But hey, we all have to live with him.
Today in Sunday school, we talked about love. We split into 3 groups to answer three questions from three different verses to understand what they were saying about love. We were actually talking about sanctification though. That was the theme for today.
My group had these verses:
"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that?" Matthew 5:43-46
"But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked." Luke 6:35
"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." John 13:34-35
As hard as it is to do, we need to love our enemies and we shouldn't expect anything back. The verse we had that spoke to me the most was the first one. Not only do we need to love our enemies, but we need to pray for those who persecute us. Hard isn't it?
President Obama, the Democrat, is one example I think of constantly in this idea. I know a ton of people who aren't especially fond of him and want to get him impeached. You might think that the way I talk about him on my blogs, that I'm obsessed with him. This is just one of those places where I can talk to anyone about anyone and not worry about getting shut down to my face. I know that if I mention President Obama to my youth group friends, they will rip my head off. They're not fond of the choice America made.
But remember, it wasn't just America that made this choice, it was God too. We need to love Obama and not expect anything back. Not only that, but we need to be in prayer for his presidency and no, not praying that he'll get impeached.
We also talked about 1 Corinthians 13, my favorite chapter of 1 Corinthians. I don't remember this, but my Aunt Ann mentioned that on one of our mission trips, I taught her all about this chapter. I really don't remember doing that, but it was a while ago.
I like 1 Corinthians 13 a lot. It's just so poetic. It's beautiful. My favorite part of the chapter, is what I think the most poetic part of it is, is verses 4-7.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not eny, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
It just seems to have a poetic beat to it. My Aunt Ann mentioned today one thing I hadn't realized about love. Love can not be evil. It all makes sense to me now that:
If God is love, and love never fails and love is not evil, then God never fails and God isn't evil.
That's how my mathematical brain thinks sometimes.
Love everyone no matter what. The Bible says love your neighbor as you love yourself. That doesn't mean that you should only love your neighbors that you live around. A neighbor could be anyone. I know it's hard; I know that from experience, but we need to do this. The world is a messed up place. By loving our everyone including our enemies, we're setting ourselves apart from the rest of the world.
No, I don't actually like the guy. But hey, we all have to live with him.
Today in Sunday school, we talked about love. We split into 3 groups to answer three questions from three different verses to understand what they were saying about love. We were actually talking about sanctification though. That was the theme for today.
My group had these verses:
"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that?" Matthew 5:43-46
"But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked." Luke 6:35
"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." John 13:34-35
As hard as it is to do, we need to love our enemies and we shouldn't expect anything back. The verse we had that spoke to me the most was the first one. Not only do we need to love our enemies, but we need to pray for those who persecute us. Hard isn't it?
President Obama, the Democrat, is one example I think of constantly in this idea. I know a ton of people who aren't especially fond of him and want to get him impeached. You might think that the way I talk about him on my blogs, that I'm obsessed with him. This is just one of those places where I can talk to anyone about anyone and not worry about getting shut down to my face. I know that if I mention President Obama to my youth group friends, they will rip my head off. They're not fond of the choice America made.
But remember, it wasn't just America that made this choice, it was God too. We need to love Obama and not expect anything back. Not only that, but we need to be in prayer for his presidency and no, not praying that he'll get impeached.
We also talked about 1 Corinthians 13, my favorite chapter of 1 Corinthians. I don't remember this, but my Aunt Ann mentioned that on one of our mission trips, I taught her all about this chapter. I really don't remember doing that, but it was a while ago.
I like 1 Corinthians 13 a lot. It's just so poetic. It's beautiful. My favorite part of the chapter, is what I think the most poetic part of it is, is verses 4-7.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not eny, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
It just seems to have a poetic beat to it. My Aunt Ann mentioned today one thing I hadn't realized about love. Love can not be evil. It all makes sense to me now that:
If God is love, and love never fails and love is not evil, then God never fails and God isn't evil.
That's how my mathematical brain thinks sometimes.
Love everyone no matter what. The Bible says love your neighbor as you love yourself. That doesn't mean that you should only love your neighbors that you live around. A neighbor could be anyone. I know it's hard; I know that from experience, but we need to do this. The world is a messed up place. By loving our everyone including our enemies, we're setting ourselves apart from the rest of the world.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Why so apathetic?
If you follow me on Twitter or Facebook, you know what my status reads right now. If you don't pay attention to either of those websites or you're just reading this for something to do, then this is what my status currently reads: And crash...I'm back where I was in the summer. Not a happy place to be.
Truly it isn't a happy place to be. It is more like a place of darkness, anger, and sadness. It's not a place I wanted to go back to for a while.
The thing about where I am is that it's not all of me that's there right now. That probably doesn't make any sense to you. Ok I'll try to explain what's going on here.
During the summer, I had issues. Not only was my relationship with God on the rocky side, I was having a horrible time in youth group. I wrote a lot of complaints down in what I call my truth journal. I was not happy. Youth group was going so horribly. Actually, we weren't doing anything, so I guess it wasn't going horribly, it was going apathetically. There was a point in summer when I didn't want to go to church. I literally had to drag myself out of bed to go because I didn't want to be there. I skipped a lot of church during the summer. I was telling a friend who I was going to visit at the end of June, Lindsay, that I wasn't wanting to go to church. She said I had to go to church when I came down to visit them. It's not that I didn't want to go to church, I just didn't want to go to my church. And even after visiting Matt and Lindsay, I didn't want to go to church. I know I was fine that week at their church, but that's kinda because it was their church and not mine. Have you gotten the point yet?
That was a rough season for me of not wanting to go to church. If you know me, I'm practically addicted to church most of the time. I do love going. I was just at a rough point with my friends in youth group. Actually, I don't really think they knew how I was feeling and I did tell one or two, but what was that gonna do? Oh wait, what did that do for me? Well our teacher asked what we wanted to learn about, and this friend knowing how I felt, just looked at me and asked me if I had anything to say. Talk about an uncomfortable situation. That just annoyed me that she would do that. I just said nothing basically.
So the point here is youth group and me did not mix over the summer at all.
So here I sit today, wishing I didn't feel the same way as I did in the summer yet I do. One thing has changed though and that is my relationship with God. It's way stronger than it was in the summer and even last year. As a junior, it kinda started to get rocky and it got worse as the year wore on.
Currently I'm in web design at school. Random for me to go off in this direction I know, but I promise it will tie in. I made this really cool logo on Thursday that I decided to email to myself and a few other friends. One friend I emailed it to is in my youth group and he thought it was really cool. Ok, I forgot to tell you what the logo was. It was a logo for youth group.
But then I got to thinking and out loud to my friend that maybe we should call ourselves something different than what our previous youth pastors called us, but what they called us makes a lot of sense considering where our building is located. Maybe we should have a meeting to discuss this with the rest of the youth group. That's when things got bad. My friend, I know he means well, but he said that the youth group wouldn't buy into any of that. Basically he said they don't care. He told me that he's been trying to do stuff for the youth group's benefit like organizing things, but they don't care and he's pretty much given up on it. He told me that I should just give up too.
You know, I may be a quiter at things like flute lessons (that's the only example I could think of), but I can't let youth group go. I don't know why I can't let it go though. That's one problem I had during the summer. Letting youth group go. I can't. I can't stop caring about it.
The truth is, more like the bitter truth, which I never look forward to hearing is that the youth group I'm in is apathetic. They don't care. They have no interest in youth group. They're like the pirates who don't do anything!
What do I do then? You've heard me before, I'm only a student. I'm not the youth pastor. I'm not even in charge of anything. I'm just a student. What can I do?
I could just give up like everyone else. I could try to do something and probably end up failing, but do I know I'm going to fail it if I try?
I can be pretty careless when it comes to stuff like my physics grade (glad I'm not in that class anymore), but I can't imagine myself just not caring about youth group. Ok, so 4 songs that come to mind or actually played on my mp3 player while I was writing this are:
Carelessness by Fair
Gravity by Shawn McDonald
Apathetic Way To Be by Relient K
Hope by Remedy Drive
You should definitely check them out. The last song, Hope, I was just listening to. It came to me that the reason I probably can't just stop caring about this youth group is that I have hope. I can't give up because of the hopes I have for youth group.
So once again I have to ask, what can I do? One thing I know I can do is pray. If you have any other suggestions, let me know. This is the best thing I can think of doing for right now.
Also to my youth group and anyone who doesn't care or has no interest, why are we so apathetic?
And finally, apathetic may be a way to be, but it's not my way to be.
Truly it isn't a happy place to be. It is more like a place of darkness, anger, and sadness. It's not a place I wanted to go back to for a while.
The thing about where I am is that it's not all of me that's there right now. That probably doesn't make any sense to you. Ok I'll try to explain what's going on here.
During the summer, I had issues. Not only was my relationship with God on the rocky side, I was having a horrible time in youth group. I wrote a lot of complaints down in what I call my truth journal. I was not happy. Youth group was going so horribly. Actually, we weren't doing anything, so I guess it wasn't going horribly, it was going apathetically. There was a point in summer when I didn't want to go to church. I literally had to drag myself out of bed to go because I didn't want to be there. I skipped a lot of church during the summer. I was telling a friend who I was going to visit at the end of June, Lindsay, that I wasn't wanting to go to church. She said I had to go to church when I came down to visit them. It's not that I didn't want to go to church, I just didn't want to go to my church. And even after visiting Matt and Lindsay, I didn't want to go to church. I know I was fine that week at their church, but that's kinda because it was their church and not mine. Have you gotten the point yet?
That was a rough season for me of not wanting to go to church. If you know me, I'm practically addicted to church most of the time. I do love going. I was just at a rough point with my friends in youth group. Actually, I don't really think they knew how I was feeling and I did tell one or two, but what was that gonna do? Oh wait, what did that do for me? Well our teacher asked what we wanted to learn about, and this friend knowing how I felt, just looked at me and asked me if I had anything to say. Talk about an uncomfortable situation. That just annoyed me that she would do that. I just said nothing basically.
So the point here is youth group and me did not mix over the summer at all.
So here I sit today, wishing I didn't feel the same way as I did in the summer yet I do. One thing has changed though and that is my relationship with God. It's way stronger than it was in the summer and even last year. As a junior, it kinda started to get rocky and it got worse as the year wore on.
Currently I'm in web design at school. Random for me to go off in this direction I know, but I promise it will tie in. I made this really cool logo on Thursday that I decided to email to myself and a few other friends. One friend I emailed it to is in my youth group and he thought it was really cool. Ok, I forgot to tell you what the logo was. It was a logo for youth group.
But then I got to thinking and out loud to my friend that maybe we should call ourselves something different than what our previous youth pastors called us, but what they called us makes a lot of sense considering where our building is located. Maybe we should have a meeting to discuss this with the rest of the youth group. That's when things got bad. My friend, I know he means well, but he said that the youth group wouldn't buy into any of that. Basically he said they don't care. He told me that he's been trying to do stuff for the youth group's benefit like organizing things, but they don't care and he's pretty much given up on it. He told me that I should just give up too.
You know, I may be a quiter at things like flute lessons (that's the only example I could think of), but I can't let youth group go. I don't know why I can't let it go though. That's one problem I had during the summer. Letting youth group go. I can't. I can't stop caring about it.
The truth is, more like the bitter truth, which I never look forward to hearing is that the youth group I'm in is apathetic. They don't care. They have no interest in youth group. They're like the pirates who don't do anything!
What do I do then? You've heard me before, I'm only a student. I'm not the youth pastor. I'm not even in charge of anything. I'm just a student. What can I do?
I could just give up like everyone else. I could try to do something and probably end up failing, but do I know I'm going to fail it if I try?
I can be pretty careless when it comes to stuff like my physics grade (glad I'm not in that class anymore), but I can't imagine myself just not caring about youth group. Ok, so 4 songs that come to mind or actually played on my mp3 player while I was writing this are:
Carelessness by Fair
Gravity by Shawn McDonald
Apathetic Way To Be by Relient K
Hope by Remedy Drive
You should definitely check them out. The last song, Hope, I was just listening to. It came to me that the reason I probably can't just stop caring about this youth group is that I have hope. I can't give up because of the hopes I have for youth group.
So once again I have to ask, what can I do? One thing I know I can do is pray. If you have any other suggestions, let me know. This is the best thing I can think of doing for right now.
Also to my youth group and anyone who doesn't care or has no interest, why are we so apathetic?
And finally, apathetic may be a way to be, but it's not my way to be.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Youth Group vs. Politics
Let me just say that this is not a good mix at all.
We were talking about complaining on Wednesday night and one of the middle school boys talked about how he complained about having to watch the inauguration during lunch on Tuesday at school. I could be complaining or not, but at least he didn't have to watch it twice back to back, plus I had to watch the end of the speech yesterday. So I actually had to watch it 3 times.
By this one middle schooler saying this, it set off a bomb in the youth group environment. Everyone started complaining and I just kept my mouth shut.
I'm not for Obama or against him really. I'm caught in the middle being a moderate and everything. What I don't understand is why my youth group hates him so much. I have friends in other youth groups in town who love Barack Obama.
Sure I don't agree with some of his policies, but he hasn't done anything to me to make me mad just yet.
Plus, I didn't vote for him. In fact, I didn't vote at all. Actually I don't think many people who come to youth group on Wednesdays voted at all. We're all kinda underage for that. Good rule of thumb here is what my economics teacher says, if you don't vote, you don't have the right to complain about it.
Maybe that's why I'm not really complaining about him right now. Besides, the ones who voted were not the only ones to make that choice to choose Obama for president. God had His say too. He knows what's best for us and I don't think we should complain about how He made the wrong choice. What do we know? We're humans; we may have eaten from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, but we don't actually know the best choice. We may think we do, but really we don't.
You can complain to God about not liking Obama, but I really wouldn't suggest complaining that God made the wrong choice. That just scares me to think about that.
At the end of youth group, one of the adults suggested that we pray for our new President Obama. I don't know if I was imagining it or if I heard some grumbles or bickering. God made this choice and He knows what's best. I agree that we should be praying for President Obama.
And if you didn't vote, then stop complaining. It's our civic duty to vote and if you didn't, then what right do you have to complain about it?
Trust in God. Our money does say, In God We Trust. Pray about it.
We were talking about complaining on Wednesday night and one of the middle school boys talked about how he complained about having to watch the inauguration during lunch on Tuesday at school. I could be complaining or not, but at least he didn't have to watch it twice back to back, plus I had to watch the end of the speech yesterday. So I actually had to watch it 3 times.
By this one middle schooler saying this, it set off a bomb in the youth group environment. Everyone started complaining and I just kept my mouth shut.
I'm not for Obama or against him really. I'm caught in the middle being a moderate and everything. What I don't understand is why my youth group hates him so much. I have friends in other youth groups in town who love Barack Obama.
Sure I don't agree with some of his policies, but he hasn't done anything to me to make me mad just yet.
Plus, I didn't vote for him. In fact, I didn't vote at all. Actually I don't think many people who come to youth group on Wednesdays voted at all. We're all kinda underage for that. Good rule of thumb here is what my economics teacher says, if you don't vote, you don't have the right to complain about it.
Maybe that's why I'm not really complaining about him right now. Besides, the ones who voted were not the only ones to make that choice to choose Obama for president. God had His say too. He knows what's best for us and I don't think we should complain about how He made the wrong choice. What do we know? We're humans; we may have eaten from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, but we don't actually know the best choice. We may think we do, but really we don't.
You can complain to God about not liking Obama, but I really wouldn't suggest complaining that God made the wrong choice. That just scares me to think about that.
At the end of youth group, one of the adults suggested that we pray for our new President Obama. I don't know if I was imagining it or if I heard some grumbles or bickering. God made this choice and He knows what's best. I agree that we should be praying for President Obama.
And if you didn't vote, then stop complaining. It's our civic duty to vote and if you didn't, then what right do you have to complain about it?
Trust in God. Our money does say, In God We Trust. Pray about it.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Friends here, but not there
I was sitting alone half reading a book and half listening to the class meeting going on around me when this thought struck me. It's not an uncommon thought because I've thought about it before, but then I got a new idea involved with this one thought.
This probably happens everywhere with all sorts of different people whether they are teens, kids, or adults.
First of all, I'm not really complaining about this. Second of all, I like sitting alone during such class meetings because they're boring and as much as I like talking to my school friends, I also like to read, but the problem with sitting alone is that I also tend to think too much.
School friends. Did you catch that in that last paragraph? If you didn't, go read it again because it's there and somewhat of a problem that I have. It's not my friends because they're all great. It's the differences in friends.
I have what I call my school friends and my church friends. At school, I tend to hang out with my school friends and at church, because my school friends aren't always there, I hang out with my church friends. I do go to public school like most of my church friends, but we don't talk that much.
Anyone else feel like that from time to time?
I sat thinking about this during the meeting like I said before while watching some of my church friends interact with their own school friends. It sometimes makes me wish I could fit in with them, but I know I won't.
I do have a few friends that spill over into both groups, but not very many. I get a few hi's from a couple of church friends during the day, but trying to talk to them is a whole other story. I feel kinda ignored when I try to talk to church friends at school sometimes. Don't get me wrong, some of them actually have a real conversation with me, but others don't.
I'm not sure why this happens. Sometimes I ask about youth group, but usually not. Sometimes I want to talk about God or the old youth pastors, but not many want to talk about that.
Is it reputation? Are you not cool if you talk about God or something? Fine, I don't want to be cool. It makes me wonder.
What do the unbelievers at our schools think of us? And if we aren't talking to each other about God and Jesus, then how will these unbelievers know that we're the right people to talk to about that subject?
They won't. The simple truth, they won't know unless we tell them. They won't know unless they hear us talking about how great God is.
Over the years, I've become more and more willing to share my faith with people. It doesn't bother me. Sometimes it's difficult to strike up a conversation about God, but this school year, I've had a couple of great conversations and I didn't strike them up. Someone was talking about Toby Mac.
Youth group. Shouldn't we stick together? We come together a few times a week for fellowship with each other, why can't we stick together in school too? Is it reputation? Am I suddenly not the friend you want to talk to at school?
I know people are busy carrying out their own lives and I'm not complaining about how I hardly say two words to anyone in my youth group during the school week. Whatever.
I guess, sorry I'm such a Jesus freak and like talking about my relationship with God. Wait, why am I apologizing? I'm not saying no one else talks about their relationships with God, I just don't hear it I guess, but then again I don't always need to hear everyone's conversations.
I try to keep up with some of the freshmen girls we have in youth group who are new to the group during the week. Usually it's before Wednesday that I talk to them asking if they're coming to youth group. I think it's really cool they're coming to youth group.
Sometimes it feels like my youth group is stuck in a nutshell. It's like we want to be secluded and we want to stick to ourselves because that's the way it has always been. For those who wanting to be in that nutshell, you can't always get what you want. I like the fact that this youth group is growing. It's slow, but it's growing finally. Now if only everyone could accept everyone else for who they are. We have some problems with that once in a while.
I guess my point in all of this, is that we need to stop being so shy about God. We need to get out there and talk to our friends at school or wherever you are about the wonderful love of God and what His son did for us.
This probably happens everywhere with all sorts of different people whether they are teens, kids, or adults.
First of all, I'm not really complaining about this. Second of all, I like sitting alone during such class meetings because they're boring and as much as I like talking to my school friends, I also like to read, but the problem with sitting alone is that I also tend to think too much.
School friends. Did you catch that in that last paragraph? If you didn't, go read it again because it's there and somewhat of a problem that I have. It's not my friends because they're all great. It's the differences in friends.
I have what I call my school friends and my church friends. At school, I tend to hang out with my school friends and at church, because my school friends aren't always there, I hang out with my church friends. I do go to public school like most of my church friends, but we don't talk that much.
Anyone else feel like that from time to time?
I sat thinking about this during the meeting like I said before while watching some of my church friends interact with their own school friends. It sometimes makes me wish I could fit in with them, but I know I won't.
I do have a few friends that spill over into both groups, but not very many. I get a few hi's from a couple of church friends during the day, but trying to talk to them is a whole other story. I feel kinda ignored when I try to talk to church friends at school sometimes. Don't get me wrong, some of them actually have a real conversation with me, but others don't.
I'm not sure why this happens. Sometimes I ask about youth group, but usually not. Sometimes I want to talk about God or the old youth pastors, but not many want to talk about that.
Is it reputation? Are you not cool if you talk about God or something? Fine, I don't want to be cool. It makes me wonder.
What do the unbelievers at our schools think of us? And if we aren't talking to each other about God and Jesus, then how will these unbelievers know that we're the right people to talk to about that subject?
They won't. The simple truth, they won't know unless we tell them. They won't know unless they hear us talking about how great God is.
Over the years, I've become more and more willing to share my faith with people. It doesn't bother me. Sometimes it's difficult to strike up a conversation about God, but this school year, I've had a couple of great conversations and I didn't strike them up. Someone was talking about Toby Mac.
Youth group. Shouldn't we stick together? We come together a few times a week for fellowship with each other, why can't we stick together in school too? Is it reputation? Am I suddenly not the friend you want to talk to at school?
I know people are busy carrying out their own lives and I'm not complaining about how I hardly say two words to anyone in my youth group during the school week. Whatever.
I guess, sorry I'm such a Jesus freak and like talking about my relationship with God. Wait, why am I apologizing? I'm not saying no one else talks about their relationships with God, I just don't hear it I guess, but then again I don't always need to hear everyone's conversations.
I try to keep up with some of the freshmen girls we have in youth group who are new to the group during the week. Usually it's before Wednesday that I talk to them asking if they're coming to youth group. I think it's really cool they're coming to youth group.
Sometimes it feels like my youth group is stuck in a nutshell. It's like we want to be secluded and we want to stick to ourselves because that's the way it has always been. For those who wanting to be in that nutshell, you can't always get what you want. I like the fact that this youth group is growing. It's slow, but it's growing finally. Now if only everyone could accept everyone else for who they are. We have some problems with that once in a while.
I guess my point in all of this, is that we need to stop being so shy about God. We need to get out there and talk to our friends at school or wherever you are about the wonderful love of God and what His son did for us.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Don't waste your time
This idea has been nagging at me for the past couple of weeks. I've actually been struggling with whether or not to write it, but last night, it hit me that I should write it. Well, it hit me in a new way that I hadn't thought about before.
If you don't know me very well, then you probably don't know how big of a procrastinator I am. I don't always use my time wisely and I end up wasting time that could be used spent doing better things. Instead, I waste my time on things like my computer playing games like Solitaire or Sims 2 for hours and hours.
One thing I try not to waste my time with is spending time with my family. Sometimes I feel like I spend too much time with my family. Hey it's better than not having a family at all. Sometimes I think we need to be reminded that our family won't always be there. We're not all gonna be on this earth forever.
What made me want to write this blog so much last night was my grandma. I spent the day with my cousin and her on Saturday and then yesterday I was asked to spend some time with her while my grandpa went out to spend some time with my Aunt Linda. Why didn't he take her with her? She's kinda hard to manage. She's confined to a wheelchair and she has Parkinson's. Some days are better than others. My cousin was complaining on Saturday that our grandma was having a bad day and then yesterday my grandpa said she was having an off day as well.
The truth is we shouldn't be complaining about having to spend time with her. Sure, I didn't exactly want to go spend time with her last night, but that would have been incredibly selfish of me. Plus, I had nothing better to do. Spending time with my grandma was time well spent. She may not always talk about the most rational things because either the medicine or her disease disorients her, but guys, there's no light way to put this; her days on this earth are numbered. I understand my grandma can be hard to deal with sometimes, but should we really be complaining about her? Or should we be spending as much time with her because we know she may not be here in a couple of years?
Ok, I have my own what if question for you. What if Jesus came to visit you? Would you use your time together wisely, or would you just let it waste away?
Ok, please hear me out on this one explanation. In the church, we have a ton of teachers. The ones that stick out to me are the ones teaching on Sundays and Wednesdays. Don't get me wrong Sunday school teachers, but I'm kinda not talking about you right now. I'm talking about the pastors in churches.
I don't know why, but right now Jesus kinda reminds me of a pastor. He was a teacher and our pastors at our churches are teachers too. Maybe I need to swap that around. Maybe it's our pastors that remind me of Jesus. I think that's how my question started.
Because I'm a teenager and I'm still in youth group, I'm gonna talk about youth pastors. Senior pastors, I don't see them getting as frustrated with teens as youth pastors can sometimes get. Or maybe like at my church, you have a senior pastor who also acts as the youth pastor on Wednesday. Talk about stressful.
I've had many Sunday school teachers, who did stuff with us outside of church, and not very many youth pastors. I have fond memories of all the teachers I've ever had in church and I didn't always waste time. When we had our last youth pastor interns, I really tried not to waste time particularly at the end of their stay. Why? Because not only did I really want to learn at that time, but I didn't want to waste their time.
Youth pastors are here to teach teens like me how to develop a relationship with God. I have a burning feeling though that some teens just don't care. I have a burning feeling that some teens are just wasting their time in youth group and wasting the times of others. It's like school; if you don't want to listen, don't, but don't bother the people who do want to listen.
We used to have problems with teens not listening. A few times our youth pastor wanted to really kick them out and make them sit with their parents, but he never did. He was nice like that...kinda. He also encouraged us to bring friends to events, but we never did. That's kinda a waste of time there. We should have brought friends, but a lot of my friends already have churches that they go to. Nowadays though I'm happy to invite friends to events...whenever we have them.
I don't understand why some kids don't want to go to youth group events. It's something to do on a Friday night if you have nothing better to do. Yeah, that's definitely me. I never have anything better to do on Fridays except maybe homework, but is that really something better to do?
I just wish kids, teens, would stop wasting their youth pastor's time. This might sound really bad, but don't take it that way, but those kids should be thankful they have a youth pastor at all. There are some kids, in actually a lot of churches that don't have youth pastors. Like I said before, I have a senior pastor who acts as a youth pastor on Wednesdays and he's cool and we have a lot of parents who volunteer to teach, which is really nice, but we don't have a youth pastor. It would be nice to have a youth pastor kinda close to our ages or that can relate to us more than our older senior pastor or parents because the younger youth pastors were probably just in that situation a few short years ago.
I want a youth pastor. We can't though because my church doesn't have the money right now since we just finally paid off our short term debt on our building in August of 2008 (Woohoo!). I wish we could have a youth pastor. Now don't go off on me lecturing me about how life is so unfair and we can't always get what we want. I know that so well.
It's true you know. Sure I want a youth pastor. Sure I want an interesting Sunday school class (not that the one I'm in currently doesn't interest me). Sure I want a new car (actually I'm happy with my car for the time being). Sure I kinda wish I had a boyfriend (ok that one isn't really true right now). Truth is we can't always get what we want.
So what do we do then? I think we just need to be content with where God has put us. I think we need to be content with what God has given us. I think we need to be thankful for where God has placed us and what He has given us.
The patience game. Has God played this one with you? Sometimes I know we ask God for something and He always provides of course, but He doesn't provide until the time is right.
I have a feeling the youth pastor thing is one of those patience times. I've been praying for a youth pastor for a while now and as much as I may hope we get one before I graduate in 6 months, I don't think we will, but I don't know about that because I know God works in amazing ways sometimes. Nothing stops me from praying for a new youth pastor though. I may be out of youth group in 6 months, but I'm not the only person in my youth group. There are kids that will still be in youth group after 4 of us seniors graduate and I think these teens need a youth pastor.
I'm really not sure what I may be missing out on because we don't have a youth pastor. It may be nothing or it could be a ton of things, but I don't want to see the next generation of my church without a youth pastor.
Hey you guys, don't waste your time. It may be fun to waste time and procrastinate on homework sometimes, but in things that involve the family or church, don't waste those times. Would you use your time with Jesus wisely?
Take advantage of the time you have with pastors, family, your church family, etc. And don't take the time you have with these people for granted. You never know when they might leave.
If you don't know me very well, then you probably don't know how big of a procrastinator I am. I don't always use my time wisely and I end up wasting time that could be used spent doing better things. Instead, I waste my time on things like my computer playing games like Solitaire or Sims 2 for hours and hours.
One thing I try not to waste my time with is spending time with my family. Sometimes I feel like I spend too much time with my family. Hey it's better than not having a family at all. Sometimes I think we need to be reminded that our family won't always be there. We're not all gonna be on this earth forever.
What made me want to write this blog so much last night was my grandma. I spent the day with my cousin and her on Saturday and then yesterday I was asked to spend some time with her while my grandpa went out to spend some time with my Aunt Linda. Why didn't he take her with her? She's kinda hard to manage. She's confined to a wheelchair and she has Parkinson's. Some days are better than others. My cousin was complaining on Saturday that our grandma was having a bad day and then yesterday my grandpa said she was having an off day as well.
The truth is we shouldn't be complaining about having to spend time with her. Sure, I didn't exactly want to go spend time with her last night, but that would have been incredibly selfish of me. Plus, I had nothing better to do. Spending time with my grandma was time well spent. She may not always talk about the most rational things because either the medicine or her disease disorients her, but guys, there's no light way to put this; her days on this earth are numbered. I understand my grandma can be hard to deal with sometimes, but should we really be complaining about her? Or should we be spending as much time with her because we know she may not be here in a couple of years?
Ok, I have my own what if question for you. What if Jesus came to visit you? Would you use your time together wisely, or would you just let it waste away?
Ok, please hear me out on this one explanation. In the church, we have a ton of teachers. The ones that stick out to me are the ones teaching on Sundays and Wednesdays. Don't get me wrong Sunday school teachers, but I'm kinda not talking about you right now. I'm talking about the pastors in churches.
I don't know why, but right now Jesus kinda reminds me of a pastor. He was a teacher and our pastors at our churches are teachers too. Maybe I need to swap that around. Maybe it's our pastors that remind me of Jesus. I think that's how my question started.
Because I'm a teenager and I'm still in youth group, I'm gonna talk about youth pastors. Senior pastors, I don't see them getting as frustrated with teens as youth pastors can sometimes get. Or maybe like at my church, you have a senior pastor who also acts as the youth pastor on Wednesday. Talk about stressful.
I've had many Sunday school teachers, who did stuff with us outside of church, and not very many youth pastors. I have fond memories of all the teachers I've ever had in church and I didn't always waste time. When we had our last youth pastor interns, I really tried not to waste time particularly at the end of their stay. Why? Because not only did I really want to learn at that time, but I didn't want to waste their time.
Youth pastors are here to teach teens like me how to develop a relationship with God. I have a burning feeling though that some teens just don't care. I have a burning feeling that some teens are just wasting their time in youth group and wasting the times of others. It's like school; if you don't want to listen, don't, but don't bother the people who do want to listen.
We used to have problems with teens not listening. A few times our youth pastor wanted to really kick them out and make them sit with their parents, but he never did. He was nice like that...kinda. He also encouraged us to bring friends to events, but we never did. That's kinda a waste of time there. We should have brought friends, but a lot of my friends already have churches that they go to. Nowadays though I'm happy to invite friends to events...whenever we have them.
I don't understand why some kids don't want to go to youth group events. It's something to do on a Friday night if you have nothing better to do. Yeah, that's definitely me. I never have anything better to do on Fridays except maybe homework, but is that really something better to do?
I just wish kids, teens, would stop wasting their youth pastor's time. This might sound really bad, but don't take it that way, but those kids should be thankful they have a youth pastor at all. There are some kids, in actually a lot of churches that don't have youth pastors. Like I said before, I have a senior pastor who acts as a youth pastor on Wednesdays and he's cool and we have a lot of parents who volunteer to teach, which is really nice, but we don't have a youth pastor. It would be nice to have a youth pastor kinda close to our ages or that can relate to us more than our older senior pastor or parents because the younger youth pastors were probably just in that situation a few short years ago.
I want a youth pastor. We can't though because my church doesn't have the money right now since we just finally paid off our short term debt on our building in August of 2008 (Woohoo!). I wish we could have a youth pastor. Now don't go off on me lecturing me about how life is so unfair and we can't always get what we want. I know that so well.
It's true you know. Sure I want a youth pastor. Sure I want an interesting Sunday school class (not that the one I'm in currently doesn't interest me). Sure I want a new car (actually I'm happy with my car for the time being). Sure I kinda wish I had a boyfriend (ok that one isn't really true right now). Truth is we can't always get what we want.
So what do we do then? I think we just need to be content with where God has put us. I think we need to be content with what God has given us. I think we need to be thankful for where God has placed us and what He has given us.
The patience game. Has God played this one with you? Sometimes I know we ask God for something and He always provides of course, but He doesn't provide until the time is right.
I have a feeling the youth pastor thing is one of those patience times. I've been praying for a youth pastor for a while now and as much as I may hope we get one before I graduate in 6 months, I don't think we will, but I don't know about that because I know God works in amazing ways sometimes. Nothing stops me from praying for a new youth pastor though. I may be out of youth group in 6 months, but I'm not the only person in my youth group. There are kids that will still be in youth group after 4 of us seniors graduate and I think these teens need a youth pastor.
I'm really not sure what I may be missing out on because we don't have a youth pastor. It may be nothing or it could be a ton of things, but I don't want to see the next generation of my church without a youth pastor.
Hey you guys, don't waste your time. It may be fun to waste time and procrastinate on homework sometimes, but in things that involve the family or church, don't waste those times. Would you use your time with Jesus wisely?
Take advantage of the time you have with pastors, family, your church family, etc. And don't take the time you have with these people for granted. You never know when they might leave.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
My Story of How God Found Me
We did this activity in Sunday school today. My Aunt Ann gave us a list of questions about how we came to be where we are currently basically. She wanted us to think about these questions and if we felt like it we could share them. I was the only one besides my aunt who shared, but don't worry that doesn't bother me. I like to talk and it really doesn't bother me anymore talking about my faith.
- I first came to know that I needed God when: That happened 9 years ago in 2000. My Aunt Ann wanted me to go to a VBS at her church. I didn't want to go, but she finally convinced me, so I went and I had a fantastic time. Even though she went out of town the rest of the week, I begged my parents to take me back. Not only do I write blogs, but I've been writing in journals since I was probably 8 years old. I love going back to these journals from time to time and the one journal entry that has really gotten me so many times is what I wrote about my first time at VBS at my aunt's church. I said that I had learned about Jesus and God and that I wanted to learn more about the Lord.
- The person, experience, sermon, song, or book that showed me how to come to Christ was: If only you knew how many people have helped me along the way. My Aunt Ann has always been a big encourager and has really influenced me. She first brought me to the church I go to. She took me on mission trips where I met awesome people and did some amazing work. But she's not the only one who has impacted me.
- The scripture that helped me most was: I don't really have a scripture. It's more like I have a lot of songs that help me and that describe where I once was.
- The person who cared enough about me to help me find Christ was: My aunt is a good answer to this. But there are so many. There is our friend Sarah, whose family has gone on a few mission trips with us. She was the one who helped me pray it.
- The events of the day when I was saved went like this: Well I don't really remember the day, but I remember the night. Sarah and her husband Roy were telling some of us girls who were staying the night at my aunt's house about Heaven and Hell and God. And it scared me. I decided that night that I needed to give my life to Christ because I didn't want to go spend eternity in Hell. So my cousin Stephanie went to get Sarah and we prayed. She was so giddy about that and so happy for me.
- My thoughts and feelings when I knew that I had been born again could best be described as: Perhaps they were like yay, I'm not going to Hell. I was happy about it, but nothing changed. Sure I was saved, but I just went back to my old habits. I've actually recommitted a lot. One time was the summer of 2006; I changed then and I thought maybe it was just because we had awesome youth pastors, but then last year, I lost it, which is something I greatly fear losing. Last year wasn't really a good year for me spiritually. Though over the summer, I think something changed in me again and I don't feel so lost anymore.
- The first person I told about my conversion was: Well there were other girls down there in the basement that night as I gave my life to Christ, so I'm not gonna say they were the first people to hear it because they saw it. The first person I told was my Aunt Ann on the way to church, but then I didn't want anyone from church knowing. Ask me now, I'm loud and proud. I love God! I like to strike up conversations about faith or hear conversations about it even though I know it makes some people uncomfortable. I like talking about my faith.
- Today, my love for Christ is: Indescribable, but growing. I can't really explain how much I love Christ and what he did for me and all of us, but I know it's growing and I hope it never stops growing.
We were only joking
Have you ever been in one of those "we were only joking" situations? Were you the one who was only joking around with everyone else? Or maybe were you the victim of the "we were only joking" situation?
This past week, I've dealt with a few of these situations. It's not new to me at all. I've dealt with many, but only a few of them have been hurtful to me. Usually I'm one of the victims in these jokes and not very often the joker.
For those that don't know me so well, I like to joke around and in my joking around I never try to hurt anyone intentionally.
A few of my friends lately have this joke going that I have a crush on this guy in my youth group. It was funny to all of us at first when I would say that I don't have a crush on him because he's practically my brother. But they've been bugging me about it more and more and I'm just sick of this. I don't have a crush on this guy. He is practically related to me. They first started this when they said I talked about him too much. So they automatically assumed that I have a crush on him. Actually I was complaining; a bad habit of mine. So? I complain about a lot of things. To some people, I talk or complain a lot about my own little brother. Do I have a crush on him? No, that's just wrong.
This week, their joking got so bad that as we were talking on AIM the other day, I just told them to stop talking about it because we all know it's not true. And after that I just left the chat room and refused to talk to any of them the rest of the night.
My other situation came along today. I found out that these three friends of mine were involved in messing with one of our other friend's Facebook profiles. It was wrong what they did. The answer I got to why they did this was we were only joking.
I'm so sick of all this joking. I like a good joke here or there, but neither of these situations have been very funny to me.
I'm feeling kinda hurt right now. Along with that hurt comes some anger, but I'm letting the anger out on here because I don't want to implode.
I'm a pretty laid back person, but when it comes to teasing, I will tear you apart. Ok, that's a little harsh, but I don't take teasing lightly. And don't worry, I'm not a violent person, so I won't really tear you apart.
Why not? I know I've mentioned this in two of my other blogs. I was bullied, teased, picked on, etc. in elementary school. I don't take that sort of thing lightly. I don't think it's nice. I don't think that's what Jesus would do.
I wish people wouldn't tease. I wish they wouldn't just joke around. I wish they were more sensitive to other people's feelings.
We were only joking.
I'm feeling hurt by this.
We still love you. You know we were only joking.
Haha, no you weren't only joking.
If it's only a joke, isn't it meant to make us laugh? If it's only a joke, is it supposed to hurt other people?
Please think about this the next time you tell someone that you were only joking with them.
This past week, I've dealt with a few of these situations. It's not new to me at all. I've dealt with many, but only a few of them have been hurtful to me. Usually I'm one of the victims in these jokes and not very often the joker.
For those that don't know me so well, I like to joke around and in my joking around I never try to hurt anyone intentionally.
A few of my friends lately have this joke going that I have a crush on this guy in my youth group. It was funny to all of us at first when I would say that I don't have a crush on him because he's practically my brother. But they've been bugging me about it more and more and I'm just sick of this. I don't have a crush on this guy. He is practically related to me. They first started this when they said I talked about him too much. So they automatically assumed that I have a crush on him. Actually I was complaining; a bad habit of mine. So? I complain about a lot of things. To some people, I talk or complain a lot about my own little brother. Do I have a crush on him? No, that's just wrong.
This week, their joking got so bad that as we were talking on AIM the other day, I just told them to stop talking about it because we all know it's not true. And after that I just left the chat room and refused to talk to any of them the rest of the night.
My other situation came along today. I found out that these three friends of mine were involved in messing with one of our other friend's Facebook profiles. It was wrong what they did. The answer I got to why they did this was we were only joking.
I'm so sick of all this joking. I like a good joke here or there, but neither of these situations have been very funny to me.
I'm feeling kinda hurt right now. Along with that hurt comes some anger, but I'm letting the anger out on here because I don't want to implode.
I'm a pretty laid back person, but when it comes to teasing, I will tear you apart. Ok, that's a little harsh, but I don't take teasing lightly. And don't worry, I'm not a violent person, so I won't really tear you apart.
Why not? I know I've mentioned this in two of my other blogs. I was bullied, teased, picked on, etc. in elementary school. I don't take that sort of thing lightly. I don't think it's nice. I don't think that's what Jesus would do.
I wish people wouldn't tease. I wish they wouldn't just joke around. I wish they were more sensitive to other people's feelings.
We were only joking.
I'm feeling hurt by this.
We still love you. You know we were only joking.
Haha, no you weren't only joking.
If it's only a joke, isn't it meant to make us laugh? If it's only a joke, is it supposed to hurt other people?
Please think about this the next time you tell someone that you were only joking with them.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Jamaica
Party at my house!!!!
As of 4 this morning, my parents have the left the house for a week. So that's why I say party at my house.
Oh come on, you didn't really think I was serious, did you? My dad said the rule is to not do anything wrong. Somehow I think having a house party is along those lines. What would the neighbors think? Besides two of my neighbors are keeping an eye on the house this week.
My brother and I are alone for a week. With me being 18, my parents can technically do that. It's still a weird feeling without them here to talk to. Though their plane to Jamaica was delayed this afternoon, so I was able to talk to them on Skype for a little bit. And they just called me a little while ago to let me know that they were in Jamaica.
When they went on vacation the last time without us, I got really depressed. I even cried on my dad's shoulder the night before they left. I never want them to leave. I'm not a party-er, so no, there is no party at my house, I was kidding. Rather I'm a worry-er. My parents are probably worried about leaving us here alone, but I'm worried about them too. I'm just glad to know they got their safely. And I pray that they will have a safe and fun vacation.
Last night, I got pretty depressed and was teary-eyed upon hugging my parents goodbye, but right now I'm ok. We were laughing and having a good time on Skype today. It's still weird though not being able to talk to them especially with my mom after school and everything. While I usually come home after school to an empty house, I'm not used to my mom not coming home. I know she usually does come home. My brother has show choir after school, so for a few days this week, I'll be alone after school.
And for some reason I couldn't sleep last night. I was sad about my parents leaving, but found out some good news, so I'm not sure what that sleeping problem was all about. This means I'm kinda slap happy and tired right now. I had some interesting dreams though. Hopefully, I'll sleep better tonight though and be a little less worrisome now that I know my parents are safe and sound in Jamaica and heading to their hotel.
I'm not really as worried about them as I have been in the past. I somehow know that this teary-eyed saying of goodbyes is gonna happen when I leave for college. That's one thing I don't really look forward to.
Please be in prayer with me for the safety of my parents.
As of 4 this morning, my parents have the left the house for a week. So that's why I say party at my house.
Oh come on, you didn't really think I was serious, did you? My dad said the rule is to not do anything wrong. Somehow I think having a house party is along those lines. What would the neighbors think? Besides two of my neighbors are keeping an eye on the house this week.
My brother and I are alone for a week. With me being 18, my parents can technically do that. It's still a weird feeling without them here to talk to. Though their plane to Jamaica was delayed this afternoon, so I was able to talk to them on Skype for a little bit. And they just called me a little while ago to let me know that they were in Jamaica.
When they went on vacation the last time without us, I got really depressed. I even cried on my dad's shoulder the night before they left. I never want them to leave. I'm not a party-er, so no, there is no party at my house, I was kidding. Rather I'm a worry-er. My parents are probably worried about leaving us here alone, but I'm worried about them too. I'm just glad to know they got their safely. And I pray that they will have a safe and fun vacation.
Last night, I got pretty depressed and was teary-eyed upon hugging my parents goodbye, but right now I'm ok. We were laughing and having a good time on Skype today. It's still weird though not being able to talk to them especially with my mom after school and everything. While I usually come home after school to an empty house, I'm not used to my mom not coming home. I know she usually does come home. My brother has show choir after school, so for a few days this week, I'll be alone after school.
And for some reason I couldn't sleep last night. I was sad about my parents leaving, but found out some good news, so I'm not sure what that sleeping problem was all about. This means I'm kinda slap happy and tired right now. I had some interesting dreams though. Hopefully, I'll sleep better tonight though and be a little less worrisome now that I know my parents are safe and sound in Jamaica and heading to their hotel.
I'm not really as worried about them as I have been in the past. I somehow know that this teary-eyed saying of goodbyes is gonna happen when I leave for college. That's one thing I don't really look forward to.
Please be in prayer with me for the safety of my parents.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Bullying
Real quick, I need to get some sarcasm out of the way before writing this blog. Well, I must say I'm really starting the year out right. I may have said it a few times last year that I had missed more church than previous years. Not that I'm trying to work on that or anything, but this is the second Sunday of the new year and I didn't go to church. The road conditions were icky and I didn't want to go out, and I know I could have called my aunt to pick me up, but I didn't really feel like going either for other reasons. Ok, so I'm done with that tad bit of information and this part has nothing to do with the blog. I was just throwing it out there.
Yesterday, I was watching American Girl 2009 or something like that. They have a couple of these movies. For instance, there's one with Samantha and one with Felicity. Wait, before I get ahead of myself, you might wonder what I'm talking about. There's this doll collection called American Girl. You can get dolls from different time periods basically. I have 3; a look-a-like (she fits my personality and looks kinda thing and lives in my time period); Kit (she's from the 1930s and The Great Depression); and Kaya (she's a Native American). They're pretty cool. You can get a bunch of clothes and stuff for them. I don't do that much with them as I used to when I was younger. I've kinda grown out of it, but I still take the dolls out from time to time.
The movie yesterday was about a girl named Chrissa. I didn't get the whole story since I came into it in the middle, but I think she was new to the school and there was this one girl she was really having problems with. Not only was the girl making fun of Chrissa, she was making fun of some of Chrissa's friends too.
It touched my heart. No, not the bullying. Chrissa. She was brave for taking on this girl who just wanted to make herself feel better by making others feel worse about themselves. Chrissa even decided that for the class project that the kids did every year to do something with bullying.
Bullying. Something that brings back bad memories from my elementary school days. I wasn't the bullier. I was the victim. My bully was Fawn Parker. She and her friends did not like me at all and to this day, I'm really not sure why they didn't like me. I mean, what's not to like? Joking. One time, I remember at the end of the school day, she and her friends made fun of my backpack (which was really cool I might add; it had light up wheels). It hurt me. My mom told me that they were probably just jealous of me.
That could be it. Then one time on the playing field in gym, Fawn told me I couldn't do anything right. That was harsh and it hurt. I remember at that time, I was going through some sort of class experiment or something with our social worker, who met with a few of us during lunch. I told her about this and I don't remember what we talked about after that, but Fawn was moved out of my class for one reason or another. I don't think it was what I said to the social worker though. But I think the social worker did want to talk to me about it more.
Bullying stinks. It's really sad that kids get bullied. The bullies are either jealous of us, the victims, or are trying to make themselves feel better. I don't get bullied anymore. But it's a memory that has stuck with me and it hurts. I'm sure it could really mess a person up.
Yesterday, I was watching American Girl 2009 or something like that. They have a couple of these movies. For instance, there's one with Samantha and one with Felicity. Wait, before I get ahead of myself, you might wonder what I'm talking about. There's this doll collection called American Girl. You can get dolls from different time periods basically. I have 3; a look-a-like (she fits my personality and looks kinda thing and lives in my time period); Kit (she's from the 1930s and The Great Depression); and Kaya (she's a Native American). They're pretty cool. You can get a bunch of clothes and stuff for them. I don't do that much with them as I used to when I was younger. I've kinda grown out of it, but I still take the dolls out from time to time.
The movie yesterday was about a girl named Chrissa. I didn't get the whole story since I came into it in the middle, but I think she was new to the school and there was this one girl she was really having problems with. Not only was the girl making fun of Chrissa, she was making fun of some of Chrissa's friends too.
It touched my heart. No, not the bullying. Chrissa. She was brave for taking on this girl who just wanted to make herself feel better by making others feel worse about themselves. Chrissa even decided that for the class project that the kids did every year to do something with bullying.
Bullying. Something that brings back bad memories from my elementary school days. I wasn't the bullier. I was the victim. My bully was Fawn Parker. She and her friends did not like me at all and to this day, I'm really not sure why they didn't like me. I mean, what's not to like? Joking. One time, I remember at the end of the school day, she and her friends made fun of my backpack (which was really cool I might add; it had light up wheels). It hurt me. My mom told me that they were probably just jealous of me.
That could be it. Then one time on the playing field in gym, Fawn told me I couldn't do anything right. That was harsh and it hurt. I remember at that time, I was going through some sort of class experiment or something with our social worker, who met with a few of us during lunch. I told her about this and I don't remember what we talked about after that, but Fawn was moved out of my class for one reason or another. I don't think it was what I said to the social worker though. But I think the social worker did want to talk to me about it more.
Bullying stinks. It's really sad that kids get bullied. The bullies are either jealous of us, the victims, or are trying to make themselves feel better. I don't get bullied anymore. But it's a memory that has stuck with me and it hurts. I'm sure it could really mess a person up.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
I want to be a star
Star. What do you think of when you hear that? Celebrities? Do you want to be a celebrity? American Idol?
Those were some of the ideas thrown out in the sermon today. I guess I'm probably still in the spirit of Christmas because I didn't even think about celebrities or American Idol. I was thinking about the star of Bethlehem, which is actually what our pastor was talking about.
Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe. Philippians 2:14-15
This is one verse that really stuck out to me today. The part that is in bold is kinda important to me since that's the part of the verse that my Bible case kinda quotes. My case says "You glow girl!"
A few things that my pastor said to me have stuck out to me. I know it was a few things, but I'm having a difficult time now remembering them, but I'll try my best.
One thing has to do with being stars. I don't particularly want to be a celebrity or anything. But I do want to do what God wants me to do. I want to shine for God. Sometimes we argue and complain about where God puts us, but He puts us in places that fit our abilities. Personally I don't want to argue with God. I am more than willing to go wherever He places me even if it's not that big of a job.
We may want to be out in the spotlight while God believes we need to be behind the scenes. Listen to Him. He knows what's right. I think I like being behind the scenes. Prayer was mentioned today. Sometimes we feel like the only thing we can do is pray. And sometimes we think prayer isn't that great.
Last year around this time when I talked to my pastor about youth group, he said I should pray about it and to be completely honest, I wasn't too happy about that answer. What's so good about prayer? Prayer isn't a big job. Prayer isn't something out in the spotlight. I didn't feel like I was doing anything to help the youth group by just praying.
Now I'm just a prayer warrior. It's not a spotlight job, but I think it's a bigger job than I originally thought it was. I don't know how much youth group has changed in a year, but I'm praying for a change to happen and I feel like something big is going to happen. When? I have no idea, but I just have a feeling.
I'm actually happy that I was put in this position. I like to pray. I have a prayer journal that I use because if I don't write down the names, I'll fall asleep before I get done praying. I've done that a couple of times actually. I'm more happy than I originally was because I've realized that this is something that needs to be done. It might not feel like anything is happening with the youth group right now, but God is working. We just have to have a little patience.
My pastor gave us a challenge today. The beginning of that verse says to do everything without complaining or arguing. He challenged us to go a week without complaining. I had to laugh at that. I've been through that before. Story time.
About 3 years ago when I was a freshman, I used to complain a ton. If you know me and think I complain a lot now, you might not have known me in 9th grade. Just about everything out of my mouth was negative and complaining. So at about the end of the school year, my Aunt Ann bet me that I couldn't go a week without complaining. She and my dad said they would pay me to not complain for a full week. Guess who won that? Yeah, I lasted two days.
So yeah, I'm all too familiar with that challenge. A lady at my church said I should try going 3 days this time. Because I'm more positive and don't really complain as much, I might be able to do that, but who knows. Some days are better for me than others.
You know another example of my complaining that I just thought of was my first mission trip. We did a video that year and the people who did it went around interviewing us for what we learned. I learned not to complain. Somehow I get really negative sometimes on those trips. Oh I don't want to do this or that. Tough luck. You're on that trip to do something, so get over it.
We do complain about where God puts us, but we really shouldn't. Whether it's an overly strict boss, a dinner you don't want to eat, a chore you don't want to do, or anything else. God is in control. He knows what's right for us and will put us where He sees fit no matter how we feel about it. We need to stop wasting our breath complaining and get out into the world to show everyone who Jesus is.
Who wants to see a negative, complaining Christian anyways?
Those were some of the ideas thrown out in the sermon today. I guess I'm probably still in the spirit of Christmas because I didn't even think about celebrities or American Idol. I was thinking about the star of Bethlehem, which is actually what our pastor was talking about.
Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe. Philippians 2:14-15
This is one verse that really stuck out to me today. The part that is in bold is kinda important to me since that's the part of the verse that my Bible case kinda quotes. My case says "You glow girl!"
A few things that my pastor said to me have stuck out to me. I know it was a few things, but I'm having a difficult time now remembering them, but I'll try my best.
One thing has to do with being stars. I don't particularly want to be a celebrity or anything. But I do want to do what God wants me to do. I want to shine for God. Sometimes we argue and complain about where God puts us, but He puts us in places that fit our abilities. Personally I don't want to argue with God. I am more than willing to go wherever He places me even if it's not that big of a job.
We may want to be out in the spotlight while God believes we need to be behind the scenes. Listen to Him. He knows what's right. I think I like being behind the scenes. Prayer was mentioned today. Sometimes we feel like the only thing we can do is pray. And sometimes we think prayer isn't that great.
Last year around this time when I talked to my pastor about youth group, he said I should pray about it and to be completely honest, I wasn't too happy about that answer. What's so good about prayer? Prayer isn't a big job. Prayer isn't something out in the spotlight. I didn't feel like I was doing anything to help the youth group by just praying.
Now I'm just a prayer warrior. It's not a spotlight job, but I think it's a bigger job than I originally thought it was. I don't know how much youth group has changed in a year, but I'm praying for a change to happen and I feel like something big is going to happen. When? I have no idea, but I just have a feeling.
I'm actually happy that I was put in this position. I like to pray. I have a prayer journal that I use because if I don't write down the names, I'll fall asleep before I get done praying. I've done that a couple of times actually. I'm more happy than I originally was because I've realized that this is something that needs to be done. It might not feel like anything is happening with the youth group right now, but God is working. We just have to have a little patience.
My pastor gave us a challenge today. The beginning of that verse says to do everything without complaining or arguing. He challenged us to go a week without complaining. I had to laugh at that. I've been through that before. Story time.
About 3 years ago when I was a freshman, I used to complain a ton. If you know me and think I complain a lot now, you might not have known me in 9th grade. Just about everything out of my mouth was negative and complaining. So at about the end of the school year, my Aunt Ann bet me that I couldn't go a week without complaining. She and my dad said they would pay me to not complain for a full week. Guess who won that? Yeah, I lasted two days.
So yeah, I'm all too familiar with that challenge. A lady at my church said I should try going 3 days this time. Because I'm more positive and don't really complain as much, I might be able to do that, but who knows. Some days are better for me than others.
You know another example of my complaining that I just thought of was my first mission trip. We did a video that year and the people who did it went around interviewing us for what we learned. I learned not to complain. Somehow I get really negative sometimes on those trips. Oh I don't want to do this or that. Tough luck. You're on that trip to do something, so get over it.
We do complain about where God puts us, but we really shouldn't. Whether it's an overly strict boss, a dinner you don't want to eat, a chore you don't want to do, or anything else. God is in control. He knows what's right for us and will put us where He sees fit no matter how we feel about it. We need to stop wasting our breath complaining and get out into the world to show everyone who Jesus is.
Who wants to see a negative, complaining Christian anyways?
Unrealistic expectations
I just finished reading the book Twilight on Thursday. Now before you go and assume just because I'm a teenage girl that I am in love with the book, know that I'm not. It was an ok book, but nothing I'm in love with. I've read better books.
This book is trying to replace Harry Potter it seems. It can't though. Harry Potter is a series of books for everyone while Twilight targets young girls. Take for example, the freshmen girls in my youth group. They are obsessed with Twilight. The author writes like a teenage girl and like I said, I've read better books.
I don't understand it. I don't get why they are so obsessed with the book. Oh wait, I forgot. It's Edward Cullen, the main guy character in the story. Edward Cullen is perfect. He dazzles girls without meaning to, he sparkles in the sun, and he's a vampire.
I'm honestly tired of all this obsession with Edward Cullen. Stephanie Meyer, the author, is corrupting minds. I see right through Edward Cullen. He's not perfect to me. Besides who wants a perfect person? I hate Stephanie Meyer for corrupting the minds of these young teenage girls. It's giving girls a warped view of what guys really look like.
No person is perfect. Edward Cullen is fictional. People get your minds out of that book and learn to live in reality. Your boyfriend is not a vampire and he's not perfect. I once saw this quote somewhere:
"Love isn't finding a perfect person; it's seeing an imperfect person, perfectly."
No one is perfect as I've said, but it doesn't mean that we can't see people we like perfectly. They still have flaws, but they fit your mold. We all have a certain mold we stick to. There are certain people in our lives that we're attracted to. We might look at a friend and wonder how they could ever think a person they think is attractive is attractive when you don't feel the same way. It's just that, that person doesn't fit your mold.
No one is in love with Edward Cullen. Those who think they are, are probably in fact infatuated with him. I don't get why girls are so in love with him or the books period. Edward Cullen could never exist. No one is that perfect. God is the perfect One. Besides I don't think it's worth it to be in so called "love" with a fictional character.
I laughed at the book every time there was a romantic moment. That's not low self-confidence on my part. I was laughing at how fake it is.
I'm a detail oriented person, so usually it takes me a long time to read books. It only took me a week to read this one. But it really frustrates me when I'm reading and realize a grammatical error that an editor missed or something. That's how much I pay attention to what I'm reading.
I'm tired of the spotlight this book has. We need to give girls something real to read. This fictional garbage is corrupting minds like most the rest of the media does to this generation. This is a generation that needs help entering reality.
This book is trying to replace Harry Potter it seems. It can't though. Harry Potter is a series of books for everyone while Twilight targets young girls. Take for example, the freshmen girls in my youth group. They are obsessed with Twilight. The author writes like a teenage girl and like I said, I've read better books.
I don't understand it. I don't get why they are so obsessed with the book. Oh wait, I forgot. It's Edward Cullen, the main guy character in the story. Edward Cullen is perfect. He dazzles girls without meaning to, he sparkles in the sun, and he's a vampire.
I'm honestly tired of all this obsession with Edward Cullen. Stephanie Meyer, the author, is corrupting minds. I see right through Edward Cullen. He's not perfect to me. Besides who wants a perfect person? I hate Stephanie Meyer for corrupting the minds of these young teenage girls. It's giving girls a warped view of what guys really look like.
No person is perfect. Edward Cullen is fictional. People get your minds out of that book and learn to live in reality. Your boyfriend is not a vampire and he's not perfect. I once saw this quote somewhere:
"Love isn't finding a perfect person; it's seeing an imperfect person, perfectly."
No one is perfect as I've said, but it doesn't mean that we can't see people we like perfectly. They still have flaws, but they fit your mold. We all have a certain mold we stick to. There are certain people in our lives that we're attracted to. We might look at a friend and wonder how they could ever think a person they think is attractive is attractive when you don't feel the same way. It's just that, that person doesn't fit your mold.
No one is in love with Edward Cullen. Those who think they are, are probably in fact infatuated with him. I don't get why girls are so in love with him or the books period. Edward Cullen could never exist. No one is that perfect. God is the perfect One. Besides I don't think it's worth it to be in so called "love" with a fictional character.
I laughed at the book every time there was a romantic moment. That's not low self-confidence on my part. I was laughing at how fake it is.
I'm a detail oriented person, so usually it takes me a long time to read books. It only took me a week to read this one. But it really frustrates me when I'm reading and realize a grammatical error that an editor missed or something. That's how much I pay attention to what I'm reading.
I'm tired of the spotlight this book has. We need to give girls something real to read. This fictional garbage is corrupting minds like most the rest of the media does to this generation. This is a generation that needs help entering reality.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Happy New Year!
I find it really kinda scary that it's the new year already. Where did 2008 go? It went by in a blur it seems. I don't know about you, but the years are really starting to speed up for me.
The upperclassmen weren't kidding when they told us as freshmen that our high school years would fly by. Look at me. I'm a senior. This is my year.
2009. I don't think I'm ready to graduate yet. My class seems to be the last class for everything. Well, not everything. We are the first class graduating with trimesters. But we were the last class to see the 6th graders at the middle school. Now all the elementary schools are split up in a really stupid system. There are many more other things that my class has been through, but at this present time I can't think of them.
Something I read online the other day made me also realize that we're the last class to see the goofy New Years glasses with the double 0. Next year it will be 2010 and you might be able to pull something off, but probably not very easily.
I have 6 months left until I graduate. In a way I'm ready to graduate, but I'm still scared. I know I'll get through it though.
I have a feeling that this year will be a good one and especially memorable. Not only that, but I already have a ton of blog ideas to write about. But no need to hurry. I have the whole year. I do have a goal though that might not work and thus I might have to start over. But my goal is to write more and more blogs every month than the previous month. I don't know how I'll be able to top the amount of blogs I wrote in December, so I think I might just start over with this month.
I wouldn't really call that a New Year's resolution though. It's something I'm trying to do and I might not succeed the first time, but I will keep trying until I do succeed. I'm not gonna just stop writing blogs next month the way most New Year's resolutions go. I'm gonna keep on writing.
Happy New Year!
The upperclassmen weren't kidding when they told us as freshmen that our high school years would fly by. Look at me. I'm a senior. This is my year.
2009. I don't think I'm ready to graduate yet. My class seems to be the last class for everything. Well, not everything. We are the first class graduating with trimesters. But we were the last class to see the 6th graders at the middle school. Now all the elementary schools are split up in a really stupid system. There are many more other things that my class has been through, but at this present time I can't think of them.
Something I read online the other day made me also realize that we're the last class to see the goofy New Years glasses with the double 0. Next year it will be 2010 and you might be able to pull something off, but probably not very easily.
I have 6 months left until I graduate. In a way I'm ready to graduate, but I'm still scared. I know I'll get through it though.
I have a feeling that this year will be a good one and especially memorable. Not only that, but I already have a ton of blog ideas to write about. But no need to hurry. I have the whole year. I do have a goal though that might not work and thus I might have to start over. But my goal is to write more and more blogs every month than the previous month. I don't know how I'll be able to top the amount of blogs I wrote in December, so I think I might just start over with this month.
I wouldn't really call that a New Year's resolution though. It's something I'm trying to do and I might not succeed the first time, but I will keep trying until I do succeed. I'm not gonna just stop writing blogs next month the way most New Year's resolutions go. I'm gonna keep on writing.
Happy New Year!
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