Are you even listening?

"I was "working" today, but not really because I couldn't really do what they were doing." I said.
"What were they doing?" My mom asked.
"Putting dry wall up on the ceiling. But I did have to help out when Noah left."
"Why did Noah leave? What did you have to do?" My mom asked picking up her phone and dialing a number.
"He had to go when his parents came. I had to put--"
"Hey dad, there's some stuff in the freezer and a cake for mom too. Ok, talk to you later."
She puts the phone down.
"You know I was talking to you." I said.
"Yes, and I was listening. You were talking about Noah. Go on."

I don't know about you, but this is what a normal conversation with my mother is like. Her cellphone is never very far from her face. While this conversation might not be exactly quote to quote of one of the conversations tonight, it's pretty close. I was talking about my day while we were eating dinner and she just picked up her phone and started talking to my grandpa.

This happens to me a lot in my family. I know my mom loves me, but sometimes I just feel like she just doesn't care enough. And it's not just my mom, it's actually a lot of people in my family. I'm neither the youngest or the oldest cousin in my family. I'm in the middle and while I see a lot of my other middle cousins getting the attention, I don't always feel like people are listening to me. This feeling really sucks.

I feel like I have to fight for my conversations. I sometimes feel like I don't have a say in certain things. I feel like it's a fight for survival. No wonder I don't really talk at a lot of our family gatherings. I really feel like no one wants to hear what I'm saying. I feel like no one cares.

Gee, that also sounds familiar. I feel like I have to fight for my conversations in my church family too particularly in Sunday school. It's way worse in Sunday school. And just to let you know, I'm probably the only one who feels this way in that class. I do feel like no one cares.

Everyone in my Sunday school class seems to think I'm a good listener. Why do you think that is? Probably because I never say anything in Sunday school. I'm kinda afraid to say anything in Sunday school anymore. Every time I do, it feels like they just don't even think about what I've said. Though even when I'm only with one or two of these friends, they say I'm a good listener. You don't really have a choice when your friends really like to talk. I'm not saying that's a bad thing.

I'm not trying to be self-centered. I don't want a lot of attention actually. I just want to feel like what I'm saying is actually penetrating someone's mind. I don't want what I say to go in one ear and out the other. Are you listening to me?

Sometimes I feel invisible to the world around me. And some may say that I need to get out there and be noticed. I don't want a lot of attention though. Probably why one of my favorite things to do is pray. Praying is a behind the scenes type thing and I really enjoy it. You don't have to tell anyone you're praying, but you can if you want to.

I'm not invisible and I know that. The world might not take me seriously at times and listen to what I'm saying. My family and Sunday school class might not listen to me either. No one in this world may be reading this blog right now. But I do know the One who will listen to my cries, praises, prayers, and everything else. And that One as you may have already guessed is God.

And don't think that He only listens to me. How self-centered would it be to think that? What would the point be if God only cared about one person? He doesn't care just solely about me. He cares about each and every one of you. And He wants a personal relationship with you if you choose to receive Him.

Some people may turn away from God because they think He's not listening. Just because God doesn't do anything right away doesn't mean He's not listening. He has open ears 24/7. If you ask God for something, He will give it to you. He may not give it right away, but He will give it to you eventually. Maybe He's just saying, not right now to you. In that case, you should be patient.

Though on the subject of wanting a pony for your birthday, you might have to wait a few years for that.

I pray about the same things with added things every night. Does it get boring? No. I love praying. Is God listening to my cries and praises? Yes. How do I know? I can tell when He comforts me. I love praying for the same people because I trust and know that God is working in them.

A few thoughts for you. Forget me, you don't even have to listen to me. But what if God is speaking through me and you didn't know it? What if God is speaking through someone you know, but you aren't listening to them? Should you be? If you're not listening to us, are you listening to God?

You should be. Why? Because He holds the plan to your life. He knows you more than you know yourself and He knows just how to help you in your time of need. So stop looking to other things for comfort, and focus on God.

But seek his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33