Got boys on the brain?

Let me just answer this one directly. No, I don't have boys on the brain. Shouldn't that be normal? Aren't boys the ones thinking about girls all the time? Well, maybe not exactly thinking about girls, but I won't go there.

Ok, so I'm now an adult, yet still considered a teen since I'm eighteen. Key part there, teen. The teen years are full of hormones and crazy people. As I've said before, I've given up the whole dating thing in high school. It's just not worth it. I guess instead of dating, I read about dating. I can't help it. Same reason I read youth pastor blogs. I can't help it. I like to help my friends out when they need advice and I like to see my youth group play fun, different, new games.

I think I'm probably going to talk about this because of one thing my baby brother is doing right now. He is DATING. I kinda had an awkward moment today in the hallway when I passed him and his girlfriend hugging in the middle of the stairwell hallway area. When I passed them, I got that feeling I can't describe. No, it's not jealousy. I chose to be this way. It was just awkward seeing them there.

I feel like I'm back at square 1. I feel like a freshmen again. You probably don't know what I mean by that, so I'll tell you. When I was a freshman, my best friend's brother, who is very much like a brother to me, started dating one of my friends. Basically, it was a bad time of my life and I learned a thing or two while ruining some friendships. Now that I'm a senior, I don't plan on interfering with my brother since 1. he's my actual brother and 2. I don't know the girl very well. I'll just keep my mouth shut. I know it's not going to last and I'm not gonna try to argue with my 15 year old brother about it. He can make his own mistakes.

Like I said before, I'm not at all jealous of him. He's only been dating this girl since Friday I think. I chose this way of life and soon my high school career will be over, but that doesn't necessarily mean that I'll go looking for love. I know girls are not physical like guys, but rather emotional. I don't need to go looking for love especially in all the wrong places because I know who really loves me. God loves me.

While thinking about how much boys aren't in my head, I realized what is usually on my mind. It's youth group. I'm always thinking about youth group. Sometimes I'm remembering the way things used to be while other times I'm just complaining. Whatever it is, I'm thinking about it.

Yesterday, I kinda threw myself into a state of depression on accident while reading someone's blog. I don't blame the person who wrote the blog at all though because I actually enjoy reading their blog. It was just youth group came to mind. I only go to youth group on Sundays and Wednesdays and I guess on some Fridays whenever we have a movie night. We don't do small groups here, but why can't we? It's probably because we don't have enough kids to do it with.

I don't want to compare my youth group with other groups, but I'm kinda going to. Other youth groups I've read about or heard about have small groups. Of course, they probably have a bunch of teens too. This really just throws me in a hole.

Maybe we need to work on growth. The problem with growth on the teen level in my church is that no one brings friends. The usual excuse and I've used it too is that all our friends already go to church or at least say they do. There is one church in my town, the biggest I believe, where a lot of people say they go to that church, but they don't really. Why can't we take a risk and bring our friends to church with us?

When we had our last youth group gathering thingy, I brought a friend with me. This friend I was kinda afraid to invite because I didn't know how the others would react. Most of them say they don't like her, but they don't even know her let alone get to know her. I took a risk and it wasn't so bad. It was a fun night hiding remotes from one of our chaperones and making him search all over my aunt's house just to find out that his sister had it the whole time.

See? I told you I had youth group on the brain. And you know what? Usually, I fall asleep thinking about youth group. Maybe that's why I have so many dreams about youth group. So no, I don't have boys on the brain much. Maybe in a few years, it will be different.