Welcome to the Real World

Is it trust that has me feeling like they don't care? That's the question I had to ask both of my old youth pastors.

One said it might be that. The other asked if I trust them. I trust most of them. He said they're on a whole different wavelength when it comes to spiritual things and being a real person. What does that mean? He said it means that I'm dealing with the issues of life in a real, authentic way and many of the youth group aren't doing that and so they aren't going to be ssensitive towards me, which might come off as them not caring.

Is that a good thing or a bad thing? It's a good thing. Real people deal with real issues, and many of the youth group are so used to being in "church world" that they have no clue about real life.

Another question I asked both of them was this: I feel like the things I say in Sunday school don't make a difference; I want to make a difference, I want to make them think; is it that the things I say really don't matter no matter how much they apply to the lesson?

The first one said that it's not that my opinion doesn't matter; it's that a lot of the girls in the youth group don't want to think deep about stuff; they're ok with riding on their parents' faith. Meanwhile I'm making it my own.

The second one thinks that they're at different places intellectually and spiritually than I am. In other words, they probably have difficulty relating to what I'm talking about. That makes sense. Actually both answers make a lot of sense.

Most of the kids are only going to church because their parents make them go. They are riding on their parents' faith. What choice do I have? Whose faith besides my own can I ride on? My parents don't go to this church. The only other person's faith I could ride on is my aunt's. I'm happy with the choice I've made to make my faith my own because it means I'm really starting to live in the real world.

I once wrote this on a blog of mine: This idea of what my youth pastor was also talking to us about came to me last night when I was about to go to bed. It's almost as if we have two different minds. Part of our minds is all about God and our relationship, but the other part is reality, where sometimes you wonder if God really exists. We watched part of the Matrix last night and I haven't seen that movie, but for those that have, we watched the scene where the one guy is given a choice. He can either take the blue pill and wake up to everything just being a dream; or he can take the red pill and stay in la-la land where he will find out everything. It's kinda what God wants to do. I also thought that it's like the tree in the garden of Eden. that tree that Adam and Eve were forbidden to eat from because if they did they would have knowledge of good and bad, which they did and were punished for it. Shame on them, but humans aren't perfect. So back to the subject, what if we allowed God to spill into the reality part of our brains? We would probably have a much better relationship with God.

I'm not stuck in "church world," I'm in the real, and not only that I'm with God. I let my two parts mesh together and now I've got reality and God together.