Hide-n-Seek

"Let's play Hide-n-seek. You go hide and we'll come and find you."
"Ok."
He hid and we knew exactly where he was yet we didn't even look for him. All we did was walk along talking and ignoring him every time he jumped out at us. We only played the game with him because we felt bad that he was homeschooled and had no other friends around. He was neighbor.

About a month ago, I was looking through some of my old stuff while cleaning my computer desk. I found this story among my English folder from 8th grade. I wrote this story for an English project in the 8th grade. It's a true story.

A month ago, I realized how mean and cruel I used to be. I was going through some old blogs on Xanga and realized how mean and unhappy I was in 9th grade. Most of my anger was targeted at two of my friends who were dating at the time.

I feel so bad about what happened in both situations nowadays. When I read the English paper, it made me sad. How could I do this to him? I used to play with him, but when friends came over, I ignored him. Was our friendship so fake back then?

Today I have a real friendship with this boy. The story was called "The Annoying Neighbor." He's no longer my neighbor or really annoying.

I remember a few years ago when his family started coming to my church. I wasn't too happy about the idea of it. It actually made me angry with myself because I thought after he moved I wouldn't see much of him.

I now love that he is in my youth group. I find it funny, yet really irritating that everyone in youth group act like I acted playing hide-n-seek. They all think he's annoying. I guess it could be that I lived across the street from him for nearly 10 years. then again, we have grown up so much in the last couple of years. I think everyone else needs to grow up too.

My old youth pastor and I were talking about this story. She said he's a really sweet guy, which he is. He's one of the nicest guys I know and he's very selfless. Like me, he has some really great ideas for the youth group. I really wish the youth group would take him seriously and listen to him. Problem is, he wants to belong like all of us, so he lets everyone walk all over him.

I think him being home-schooled is partially to blame. He doesn't hang out with us at school, so youth group is really the only time he hangs out with us. He's trying so hard to fit in that he'll do whatever it takes. And if that means letting the rest of us walk all over him, then so be it. Not only is that unfair, actually it's incredibly unfair, but it's also mean. the youth group needs to accept everyone no matter how annoying or mean they are. Jesus gave us the commandment to love your neighbor as yourself. I'm not sure I'm seeing that in the youth group.

I've been reading a book called How To Smell Like God. In it is a story about a boy named Mark who had the nickname Stumpy. Every time he came up to a group of people, that would exclude him. He got stuffed into lockers all the time. He would always say that everything was alright and laugh and stuff with the bullies, but deep down, he was really hurting.

I'm not much different from Mark or my old neighbor. One thing, not many people know about me is that when I was in elementary school, I got bullied too. There was one time in gym class where we were playing soccer outside and I must have missed or something because my bully came up and yelled at me and said I could do nothing right. Then there were the times when this same girl bully came up with her friends and made fun of my backpack. My mom always said it was probably because they were jealous of me. Girls can be so cruel especially into their teen years. I'm not really bullied anymore in the same emotional sense. But rather, this bullying features isolation and making the person feel invisible. Sometimes I feel like I don't exist. And I know there's people who probably wish I didn't, but I do exist whether they like it or not.

Today I was baby-sitting three little boys. You know how little kids tend to follow the example given to them? Well, the oldest boy would get on this table and jump off, so naturally the youngest wanted to do the same thing. I see it the same way with bullying. My bully probably did it because she didn't have a stable home life. I got bullied and so I started bullying, but not in the same sense as the emotional stuff. I was ignoring and just pretending my neighbor didn't exist.