A few parables

The last couple of weeks in youth group, we've been studying some parables. I haven't actually enjoyed this very much. I like studying the parables and I really like the parables, but the problem is the arguing and the complaining about the parables.

We have this one girl who has complained about the last two parables we talked about. It's so annoying. And I thought I was bad. She doesn't like them because she thinks they're unfair. Are parables supposed to be fair? They're stories with a life lesson in them. Sometimes they aren't gonna be fair. We need to accept that fact.

Last week we talked about Matthew 20:1-16, The Parable of the Workers in the Vineyard. I really didn't have a problem with this one. The lesson we learn is to not be jealous of those that come after us and the reward they get because that reward is the same that we get. The manager in the story promised to pay everyone the same amount, how is that unfair? Why do we expect to get paid more if we worked longer? Somehow I don't usually expect that. Maybe I'm just different. I'm happy with whatever I get paid.

Tonight we studied Luke 15:11-32, The Parable of the Lost Son. I think everyone knows this story. Our pastor said it was easy for us to think of ourselves as the lost son, but I disagree. More often than none, I feel like the older brother. Somehow I feel like these two stories have a connection involving jealousy.

I actually have a few Lost Son real life applications. Sometimes I feel like my little brother is the lost son. I actually hope he is. And when he finally comes home, I hope I'm not like the big brother. I hope to be happy for him. I have another though that isn't so happy. My grandma for whatever reason keeps talking to me about her funeral. She always talks about what songs she wants my cousin Stephanie or my brother to play at the funeral. Sometimes I feel like I'm not good enough for my grandma. She never mentions the idea of me playing at her funeral. She just wants my brother or Stephanie. In a lot of ways, it really hurts me. But then again, I know in most ways, I'm like the older brother. But I'm trying to work on that.

Tonight we did these Valentine heart things that really made no sense at the start. But by the end, our pastor wanted us to write a valentine to God. To be completely honest, this part made me want to cry. And I almost did a few times. I was just thinking about my grandma talking about her funeral and how I was totally being the older brother and how much I need help with it. Needless to say, I didn't write anything down, I just thought about it and tried to keep the tears away. I didn't want to randomly start crying in front of my youth group because they would want to know what's wrong and then I would cry harder. I just didn't want to do that. Thinking about this again makes me want to cry.

Last night, I went to a different Bible study at my neighbor's house for single women. I had a great time. One thing that caught my attention was something one of the ladies' said about my ranting on youth group. God put youth group on my heart. So is there really anything I can do about it? I don't want to just go with the flow. I don't know if you've realized this yet, but I'm different. I like going deep into the Bible. I like studying the parables. Maybe it's just because everyone else has been doing it for way longer? Or maybe I'm just a little different from everyone else. I can't go with the flow. I can't go hide in a shell somewhere. I can't avoid my youth group. But the biggest problem is that I can't do anything to help my youth group and that hurts me a lot.

You know that girl I was telling you about who was complaining about how unfair the parables are? Well I think youth group can be pretty unfair. But as usual, I know I can't get everything I want. I can't give up and I can't quit. So that's exactly what I'm not gonna do. If I can't quit, then why bother try to quit? I'll stick to my prayers.