It's not the church...

It's you.

Have you ever heard the phrase, it's not you, it's me or vice versa. It's not me, it's you.

I'm seeing my complaining in a whole new light right now because of something my pastor said in his sermon. He was talking about how easily people will blame others for a problem, while they don't even bother looking at themselves. He thought it was kinda funny to watch people do that. Sometimes he wants to just shake them and tell them to wake up.

You have seen it. I complain all the time about youth group. No one wants to do anything. That's what I've said. But maybe they're not the problem. It's not my youth group, it's me. Someone shake me please and tell me to wake up and smell the coffee.

But wait, why am I the problem? I want to do things with my youth group. I want to go on mission trips. I was thinking on my way home from church today that I don't want to sit around and do nothing during the 30 Hour Famine, I want to go help people. I want to go to Flint Eastside Mission. I haven't been there in so long. I want to serve. I want to help in some way. I don't want to just sit around in the church all day doing nothing. I want our youth group to go to church camp. I've never been, and I think it would be a great experience.

Is it because I never ask to do this stuff? I have a fear of rejection. I don't like to ask for these things. Whenever I do ask, I usually get shot down right away. I've tried the last couple of weeks to convince some people that we should go to camp this summer, but it hasn't been working so well. Am I to blame because I don't promote these ideas more often?

If I'm the one to blame, I'll take it. If I'm the one to blame, you have to understand that I will blame myself and I will bury myself in a hole of blame. I've done it before. I've blamed myself for things that weren't my fault. So whose fault is it?

At this point, I don't know whose fault it is. It could be mine. It could be one individual person. Or we all could be to blame for this. I don't know whose fault it is anymore. Sitting here complaining about it, isn't helping my youth group any though.

I don't know how I can help. I'm not sure I can help. I'm only one teen. I feel like I'm the only one, but I'm sure there's probably more who feel the same way, but like me don't know what to do. And they probably don't talk out loud about it as much as I do.