Talking to a brick wall

Have you ever tried talking to someone thinking they're listening only to find out that they're staring straight ahead not listening at all? Have you ever talked to a brick wall?

I find that trying to talk to someone who isn't listening to you at all is like talking to a brick wall. They just don't get any of it.

At my graduation rehearsal, which by now, happened almost a month ago, that happened to me. Ever since 8th grade, I have sat by and was in the yearbook next to this one particular girl because our last names are so close. We used to be good friends, but not so much anymore. I had to sit by her at graduation rehearsal.

I guess, I don't know, I could have been joking around when I wasn't supposed to or just talking when she was trying to listen. Whatever it was, she wasn't listening to me. Am I that annoying? I'm not trying to selfish in any way. I just want to know why what I say goes right over some peoples heads. It's like I don't exist. I'm some ghost or something.

If you can't tell, that really bugs me. The other thing that bugs me is the fact that the girl I was sitting by would turn and talk to the girl next to her. What is it about me that people don't like?

I don't want to be the center of attention. But I also don't want to be completely ignored.

Yes, I will admit that I do talk to myself. I'm talking my way through this blog right now. I argue with myself sometimes (that's actually kinda fun). Am I really that weird? Am I really that annoying?

I hate the feeling of talking to a brick wall. If you don't want to talk to me, why don't you just say it? I feel like I've been ignored for a while. I used to get teased a lot in elementary school. I didn't get invited to things all the time. I have felt hated. By ignoring me, that just makes me feel even more hated.

Why not give me a chance? I really don't think I'm as weird as you think I am. In the end I think I'm just trying to get you to laugh or smile. That's one reason why I say really goofy things all the time. But you know what? I also know how to hold a serious conversation. I'm not an all around joker.

What about you? Do you have brick walls in your life? Do you hate being ignored?

I just have to keep telling myself that God has something way better for me even though I don't know what it is right now. I guess that's what helps me get through my times of talking to a brick wall.