You asked for it!

The other night I was kinda mad and in a ranting mood when I wrote my Come Together blog. So I kinda went to bed fuming. Not fuming to anyone in particular. Fuming to myself yes, but also fuming to God. But hey it's ok to complain to God right?

I just wanted a reason why our youth group events always get canceled and some other things. For instance, why is it every time we try to do something with or that has to do with our old youth pastors and their youth group, that it never works out?

Are we cursed? Am I just too much of a doubter? Is it because I don't want it to happen?

These were all things I asked God. I didn't ask for a sign like I usually do. I just wanted a flat out answer for why these things always happen to us.

The answer didn't come to me in a dream. And I didn't feel the answer when I woke up. It came later on in the day.

I was talking to one of my old youth pastors. She told me she read my blog. Now I had put on my Twitter and Facebook status that I had written that blog finally because it had been nagging me for so long, but that's not how she came about the blog.

I was curious to know if that's how she came about the blog, so I asked her if that's what happened. She said she just hadn't read my blog in a while and decided to go read it. That's was my second guess.

Sometimes I wonder why I put these things online if I'm gonna regret it because once she said she had read my blog, I felt so much regret for writing that. I want people to read my blog, I really do, but sometimes I just regret some of the things I write. I'll probably even regret this one in the morning. I think I continue writing these blogs because I feel the need to write them. I feel like that's what I should be doing and that's probably why I don't delete them even though I feel regretful for posting them.

I'm not mad she read the blog. Just kinda shocked like I always am when I find out a youth pastor has been reading it especially one I once had. But what do I expect? I put that link out there for a reason. Go on read my blog. I'm putting it out there. Yeah, what do I expect?

So some of the stuff I discussed in my Come Together blog, yeah, one of my old youth pastors explained some stuff to me about it. Well I got my answer from God.

I don't know that my youth group is cursed and I don't think they are. I am a doubter and I should probably stop doubting because it'll just make the situation worse. The last question I asked came to me and it held on tight. It is something I feel like I've been struggling with. Do I really want to hang out with these old youth pastors anymore? I didn't really want to go to Cedar Point when they were going at the same time at first, but then I started to get really excited.

The problems always seem to start when I start getting excited for things. That's when things don't usually happen and truthfully it sucks. When I started to get excited about seeing the old youth pastors at the 30 Hour Famine, things went downhill fast, but then I found out the truth for why they didn't want to come. Not a comfort zone issue at all. But I still do feel really strongly about coming together with other youth groups and getting out of your comfort zone.

Last night when I went to bed, I was kinda frustrated again. Once again complaining to God. Why'd He have to tell me that way? Well, I did ask for it.

So yeah, be careful how you ask God a question. You never know how God will give you an answer to it.