2 years ago vs. Today

As I was sitting in first hour band class yesterday, I was thinking about the differences between the person I was two years ago and the person who sits here writing this blog today. I don't think it was really a spiritual thing I was thinking about. I was thinking about band.

I am currently in Wind Symphony, which is the better band at my school. Currently, I sit as second chair flute. Two years ago, I got 2nd chair in Concert band and I was so excited. Today I hate it. I have the same stand partner that I had then and she does not like to share.

I don't know if it's the girl or what that I just hate that chair. It could also be that I don't like playing the first flute part. I like the harmony part and that's not only because it's kinda easier. I like to play something different from everyone else. It's because I'm different.

You know I was also thinking about all this with some anxiety. I haven't taken this year's chair test and I'm not sure I will. I guess you could say that I have really bad senioritis and I don't feel like doing anything especially for band. This playing test is for a grade though. But I haven't really practiced is one problem and I haven't signed up for a time either. And I know my parents are gonna be even more upset with me than they currently are if I don't take that test. They're still a little upset about NHS.

Two years ago, I was so excited to take this chair test and last year I was ok with it, but this year I just don't care. It's kinda sad, but I think I'm just ready to get out of this class. I guess I'm ready to get out of high school too. Of course, 2 years ago I was a sophomore. In case you don't know what sophomore means, it's wise fool.

Now thinking about it on the spiritual track of things, 2 years ago and today were similar. Last year, I don't know what my problem was, but I was having such a bad year with my spirituality. It was just a season of no learning I guess, a season of no spiritual growth.

2 years ago, I really changed. You've probably heard me talk about all this before. But I seriously changed for the better. I don't like change a lot, but this change or transformation was amazing. My spiritual life was thriving and I was loving life (not saying I haven't enjoyed it since then). I loved hanging out with my youth group and our awesome youth pastors especially.

Then last year, I felt like I had lost all of it.

This year though is much similar to 2 years ago. 2 years ago, I wondered if all that I was feeling was real or if it was just because of my youth pastors. This year, I know it's for real. It's not fake, it's for real. It was real 2 years ago and it's real today.

Ok I think it's time for some fun.

#3 What if you could be invisible?

• Sometimes I honestly wish I could be invisible. Sometimes I wonder if I'm invisible to those around me. My friend and I talked about doing a psychological test last year with me walking around with a piece of paper taped on my shirt saying that you can't see me and I'm invisible. That's probably not very ethical, but we thought it would be an interesting idea to try. I think I could hide very well if I had the ability to be invisible. It would probably be really cool sometimes.
  

#142 What if you got to be Santa Claus for a night?

• This is the perfect question for the month that it is. I was reading someone else's blog tonight and they were talking about guys dressed up as Santa Claus in the malls and I just thought to myself, "Santa's not real?!" I was joking of course. I've known that for a long time. My parents broke my heart with that one. Well if I were Santa, I would love to deliver the toys. I think it's better to give than to receive. Santa's workshop would probably be amazing, but I wouldn't want to keep all the toys for myself. There are kids out there who are way more deserving.
  

#14 What if you could live anywhere in the world?

• If I could live anywhere in the world, I would probably stay right where I am even though Michigan's economy is in a rut right now. My economics teacher has hopes that we'll all stay in Michigan, but because of the rut this state is in, most are trying to get out of this place. It's kinda sad. I would kinda like to live somewhere a little warmer though. I hate winter!
  

#51 Have you ever felt really close to your family? (When? What caused you to feel close? Why? Did you tell them?)

• I probably have. I can't think of a particular time right now though. Are we talking about extended family or just house family? I think I tend to feel closest to family when I know I won't see them for a while like for example if my parents go on vacation. I worry about them. I do tell them that I worry and I'll miss them.
  

#278 Have you ever smelled rotten meat? (Where? Describe the smell. How did you feel? What happened?)

• It's probable. But does dead animal count? Because dead animal is pretty rank. One time, my hamster died under the couch and we didn't realize it and it smelled so bad for the longest time. It was disgusting.
  

#317 Have you ever surfed? (Where? What did you like or dislike about it? How did you feel?)

• I have never surfed. Does a boogie board count though? I did boogie board when I was in South Carolina. It was cool. I didn't very much like the extreme ways in some parts and I really didn't like the idea that we were swimming with sharks. I got to hold a baby shark and a crab on that vacation. Boogie boarding was a lot of fun though.